Somewhere along stumbling to happiness and following our passion it’s easy to miss the true purpose of our existence. So wrapped up in achieving personal success, whatever we think that looks and feels like for us, we forget about the memorable mark our day-to-day behavior leaves on others. We get caught up in the bigger picture, the ultimate”legacy” we want to leave, placing the focus on our desires instead of others.
Making a True & Measurable Impact
Sure we talk about making an impact on the world, but the world is composed of millions and millions of people. To be aware of the impact we have on each other with every single encounter is the start. From this second to the next; that last moment until now, every look, every sigh, stare, word, jab, smile, frown, punch, hug. . . .even the thoughts we are thinking that we do not dare to share, our truest purpose is to become awake to how are we making each other feel. That feeling we leave behind is what matters most.
Did you lift them up? Show appreciation? Make them feel important?
It’s how we make each other feel. It’s the after effect, the residual emotion left from our words, our touch, listening to our friend, partner, parent, child, acquaintance, that truly matters mot. The bigger legacy of love is built on these day-to-day opportunities to make someone feel important and appreciated. Did we leave them feeling loved?
Leaving a legacy begins with our behavior and everyone has the opportunity to leave a legacy. It starts right in front of us, every second of the day. A chance to leave a legacy of love.
But people are so frustrating, so anxious, so hard-headed.
Try Reasoning instead of Rage.
It can begin with reasoning with those that are hurting. Reasoning communicates a message of respect. Respect is a building block to better relationships.
Recognizing the Good in All.
Praising another’s good behavior will reinforce even better behavior. When our good actions are praised we internalize it as part of our identities, and understand that even though we may have done things that weren’t kind in the past, we are able to change. Praise opens up the relationship to a higher standard.
Leaving a Legacy of Love Starts with Flipping the Script
Creating a new narrative about the way you want to leave your legacy. Sure you may build the next Facebook, Uber or Airbnb, perhaps you will find cures for diseases unknown but in between the chaotic moments of hustle and grind, how did you make everyone feel?
Listen to Flip the Script from NPR’s Invisibilia
How therapists use the concept of non-complementarity behavior to help you make your own relationships better. Are you arguing with others? Angry? Upset? How do you flip the script? It starts by doing the opposite of what your natural instinct is, and in this way transforms a situation. Usually when someone is hostile to us, we are hostile right back. The psychological term is “complementarity.” But then in rare cases someone manages to be warm, and what happens as a result can be surprising.