The pain throwers. You all know these people. Their past didn’t live up to their expectations. Someone is always mistreating them right now. They may feel as if life is unjust, unfair and disturbing. They live their pain out loud. They blame, they shame and complain and oh God are they are bore.
The Pain Thrower Story
They bitch and they moan about the very people, their friends and their family perhaps, those that they thought they could trust with their heart and soul, those who have betrayed them. They visit their therapist. Spending time revisiting their past. That is, the past as they remember it. They remain stuck in the past with some story they had to “overcome”. Living a very unhappy existence.
A note about distorted memories.
Science has demonstrated that sometimes we actually build memories around our misery. We crave a cohesive narrative of our own existence and will even invent stories to give us a more complete picture.
Carrying around false memories from your childhood could be having a far greater impact on you than you may realize. The events, emotions and experiences we remember from our early years will help to shape who we are as adults, determining our likes, dislikes, fears and even our behavior.
Memories can’t be trusted. Memories are malleable and tend to change slightly each time we revisit them, in the same way that spoken stories do.
Instead of living in the past, trying to pull apart what happened to you while fabricating stories of rage and abuse, perhaps you should choose to start living right here, right now.
Imagine choosing happiness right now over yearning for more of it in the future.
Imagine watching over all of our thoughts . Every single one. The only question to be asked is. . .
Are your thoughts adding to peace in this world?
Don’t steal the joy. To make others less happy is a crime.
To make ourselves unhappy is where all crime starts.
Our duty is to contribute joy to the world.
Cathy Bueti on Instagram