Letting Others In

If you met me in person you would see that I come across as independent, contained, confident, and un-needy. Avoiding emotional engagement in relationships is my speciality. I give love out, but I can’t take it in.

In addition to fearing rejection, I  keep distant because  I don’t trust that any connection or acceptance will last. I am ambivalent about relationships—some part of me wants connection, but I am also frightened—I succumb to fear and pull away at the first sign of a disconnect, an argument, a fight.

I’m the emotionally stoic mother, wife, sister, and friend and I am rarely able to share my vulnerability.  Nobody knows my true inner feelings about why I push love away, not even myself.  I like to be the giver in a relationship. That way I never owe anyone anything. I feel like running the other way whenever anyone tries to make me feel like I’m obligated to do or feel something I don’t want to.

This is about to change.

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Featured Artist

Joanne

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