A wise person remains centered enough to let go every time their energy shifts into defense mode.
It doesn’t matter what others do unless you decide it matters to you.
There will always be something to disturb you.
Relax, release and let go
- Wasting energy on worry
- Ruminating over past problems
- Concerning myself with anything that doesn’t upgrade my life
- Buying into short gain temptations
- An obsession with planning over doing what needs to be done (no to procrastination)
- Repetitive behavior that doesn’t serve me well
- Lowering my standards
- Fretting about the future
Don’t be hanging with no jank ass jokers that don’t help you shine. – Will Smith
Having had my fair share of stressful and painful experiences, I am intrigued by studies that explain how negative emotions manifest as physical pain in our bodies. I am specifically interested in the role of stress and the condition of our heart because even though our heart governs most of our decision making, we truly take for granted one of the most magnificent masterpieces of creation.
A New Type of Heart Attack in this article from Harvard’s Heart Health Newsletter.
Most heart attacks are due to coronary arteries being blocked by blood clots that form when plaques of cholesterol rupture. The lack of blood flow through the blocked arteries results in heart muscle dying — hence the name “heart attack.”
But over the past few years, physicians have come to recognize and better understand another form of heart attack. This unusual type of heart attack does not involve rupturing plaques or blocked blood vessels. It is called takotsubo cardiomyopathy, or stress cardiomyopathy. Japanese doctors, who were the first to describe this condition, named it “takotsubo” because during this disorder, the heart takes on a distinctive shape that resembles a Japanese pot used to trap an octopus. The disorder was commonly believed to be caused by sudden emotional stress, such as the death of a child, and to be far less harmful than a typical heart attack. For that reason, some had also labeled this condition “broken-heart syndrome.”
Purifying Your Heart
In the yogic tradition, so-called heart blockages are caused by unfinished and unprocessed emotions. They call this energy, Samskara, which in Sanskrit means “impression”. You know, the things that make either a good impression or bad on us that we can’t seem to get “over” – those things that cause our mind to ruminate on horrible or remarkable experiences that have happened to us. The heart and mind playing an important role in making us feel inspired and loving or apathetic and victimized.
Our heart is an instrument made of extremely subtle energy that few of us come to really appreciate. The heart’s energy flow (referred to as Shakti, Spirit or Chi) plays a very important part of our lives and experiences.
The heart controls our energy by closing and opening. For example, you can experience great feelings of love for someone until they say something negative towards you. Vascilating between open-hearted and closed. For deeper reading on The Secrets of The Spiritual Heart, a chapter of the book I have now read five times, I recommend The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer.
So science is also demonstrating that volatile emotions like anger and hostility are bad for heart health. But studies have shown that some of the quieter emotions can be just as toxic and damaging.
“Study after study has shown that people who feel lonely, depressed, and isolated are many times more likely to get sick and die prematurely – not only of heart disease but from virtually all causes – than those who have a sense of connection, love and community,” Dean Ornish, MD, tells WebMD.
Author Michael Singer explains that we have spent a lifetime of storing up unresolved conflicts which can lead to a heart that is shut down and closed for business. But all is not lost. We have a choice.
We can simply allow the experiences of life, whatever we label as good and/or bad — from falling madly in love to experiencing the death of a loved one — yes, just simply allow those experiences to move right through us.
Will they be joyful and painful experiences? Yes. But the clinging and resisting and wrestling you do with these emotions will no longer distract you from living fully in the moment with an open mind and heart.
The eyes are useless when the mind is blind.
Art by Turkish artist and graphic designer Aykut Aydogdu, based in Istanbul.
The indomitable will of our soul burns on even during the downward spiral of our destiny.
Artwork by Peter Beard.
He married a supermodel, photographed rock stars and came from a wealthy family. Easy on the eyes too.
Peter Hill Beard is an American artist, photographer, diarist and writer who lives and works in New York City and Kenya. His photographs of Africa, African animals and the journals that often integrate his photographs have been widely shown and published since the 1960s.
Here’s a thought.
We can completely avoid being “blindsided” by problems. Problems leave clues way before they become dilemmas.
Problems present themselves first as small annoyances. The things that are bugging you that are tiny enough to just brush off and not big enough to make you care.
There are so many clues right in front of our eyes but we may not want to look at them because, well, they can lead to an even more frightening thought. The future.
I hate it when I notice a minuscule pesky problem and I say “oh, it will be okay.” Yeah, no it won’t. Grab it by the ass.
Sure I, on occasion, have just wanted to things to be okay, even if they weren’t. I even said to myself, as shit was going down, it’s okay. Sometimes I surrounded myself with people who loved to stay in the bubble of “okayness” rather than face the problem head-on. I don’t anymore.
It’s called living in denial.
We have immense power to cause both positive and negative outcomes in our lives. It starts by waking up to the truth. Small problems today grow into sucky stressful tomorrows. Address the problems now and save yourself the stress.
Surreal images by Eugenia Loli
You know you need to repair your routine when you start the day all full of fire that burns out faster than a stick of Palo Santo by 11 am. Nothing is going to change if you don’t. Yes you are on a track, but is it the best track? The one that will propel you forward to expand your awareness? To elevate your consciousness? To move you further towards the life of your dreams.
Doing the day a little differently will help curb the habits that are holding you back.
Build Morning Inspiration & Motivation
You know what I am talking about. You’ve journaled, meditated, gone to the gym, consumed something healthy and you’ve created a “to do” list – you’ve set some goals for the day and then bam, hello, it’s 1 pm and you’ve done everything but what you set out to do.
Frustrated, the best advice is to become more open to being blown off course. Why? Perhaps the course you are choosing isn’t the one you are suppose to be on. Moving through our days a bit more loosely will also remove the limitations we begin with when we try to define the day in it’s entirety.
Where to start? Your true life starts when you remove the mask. A poem by Shel Silverstein
8. UNDERFACE (Every Thing On It)
Underneath my outside face
There’s a face that none can see.
A little less smiley,
A little less sure,
But a whole lot more like me
Masks by Richard Jonkman
Fuel Your Focus with a Mid Day Reset
Take a pause, gain some perspective. Is this really the day you intended? Recognize the obstacles. Where are you procrastinating? How is your body disconnected from your mind’s desires? How is your thinking trapped in a tunnel?
Haruki Murakami // “What we see before us is just one tiny part of the world.”
Ethan Hawke // “Pay attention: what you need to know is usually in front of you. There are no secrets, just things people choose not to notice.”
Wind down Wonderfully for Rest & Recovery
Develop a wind down ritual. Examine the day and explore the darker regions of your heart. What could have been addressed by a better version of you?
Frida Kahlo // “At the end of the day, we can endure much more than we think we can.”
“If you have strength of character, you can use that as fuel to not only be a survivor but to transcend and thrive. You must use an internal alchemy to turn something rotten and horrible into gold.”
“An individual has not begun to live until he can rise above the narrow horizons of his particular individualist concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity. And this is one of the big problems of life, that so many people never quite get to the point of rising above self. . .so they end up the tragic victims of self-centeredness.” MJK jr. Read the entire brilliant thing here.
Take note: this post was inspired by the King himself and the incredible speech above and another interesting dude, Jocko Willink, decorated retired Navy SEAL officer, author of the book Extreme Ownership: How US Navy SEALs Lead & Win.
Not Dead, Don’t Quit
Serving with Honor and Integrity On and Off the Battlefield, Jocko believes we can all benefit from creating our own code of conduct. Call it what you will, standard procedure, a moral code, rules of road, your manifesto. . .Jocko and Martin Luther King Jr. had me thinking about what I aspire to be less and more of.
Note: two habits I have recently adapted into my daily practice of MJ’s experiment in human development include . . .
- “wishing others well”, inspired by Sakyong Mipham author of Turning the Mind into An Ally and . . .
- creating this creed below (my principles, modus operandi, approach to life), which I read every morning, to remind myself to hold the standard, because well . . .
If you’re feeling stuck and struggling to make the progress you want, take a look around you. Most people adapt to whatever environment they find themselves. They have what psychologists call an “external locus of control,” where they believe factors outside of them dictate the direction of their lives.
No they do not. YOU CONTROL THE DIRECTION OF YOUR LIFE.
A Warrior Queen’s Creed
(hey, this is a major step up for me, I use to be a worrier queen)
- A Warrior Queen is very discerning about who she aligns herself with, befriends, spends time with – for they must energize her, not deplete her.
- A Warrior Queen awakens to each day with absolute gratitude and appreciation for the breath that gives her life.
A Warrior Queen knows that she is a tiny, vulnerable being riding on a blue dot in space, not the center of the universe. (this is the money right here).
A Warrior Queen is always willing to help others rise up and become the best that they can be. Even when she mistakens a friend’s call as an interuption in her day.
A Warrior Queen knows what motivates her, for she is very self aware, to the point of calling bullshit on the lies she tells herself.
- A Warrior Queen understands that REAL forgiveness keeps the flow of love pumping through her heart.
- A Warrior Queen acknowledges both life and death, good and evil, joy and sorrow and never dives into escapism or fantasy about how she wishes the world to be. She sees everything for what it is, with radical acceptance. (OH MY GOD THIS WAS NOT ME A MONTH AGO, I SWEAR)
- A Warrior Queen looks for the FACTS, not fiction in every situation. Everyone should try this one, a game changer really. (inspired by episode 216 of James Altucher’s podcast with author of Sapiens, Yural Harari.
- A Warrior Queen respects all living beings, especially her worst enemies. Soooooo hard to do, yet a very strategic move.
- A Warrior Queen is always learning, reading, listening to those with the brightest brains, highest intelligence and gathering wisdom along the way.
- A Warrior Queen practices extreme self care. She moves and exercises (her demons too), eats healthy, rests well to stay strong and energized throughout the day.
- A Warrior Queen trains in earnest with a meditation ritual each day to remain focused and in the present moment, awake and alive.
- A Warrior Queen is full of compassionate empathy and loving radical acceptance and kindness for what is.
- A Warrior Queen has a heart that is ready for anything.
- A Warrior Queen sees situations as they are, not bigger than they are.
- A Warrior Queen guards her mind, her words and her wishes, always thinking thoughts that lead to positive emotions. (this one is a huge challenge for me, but I am improving).
- A Warrior Queen is comfortable with the uncomfortable truths of life.
- A Warrior Queen appreciates every single encounter each day, for she knows life is sacred.
- A Warrior Queen does not fantasize about catastrophes that might happen in the future. She stays present and prepared in this moment.
- A Warrior Queen is centered, calm, cool and collected. She moves with purpose and confidence throughout her days.
- A Warrior Queen does not resist reality and does not desire permanence for she knows the unchanging truth of change and relinquishes attachment to any outcome. This includes people, places and things. Her shift in perception of reality, that everything is impermanent helps her appreciate the nature and master of life. This world is made of infinite and ever changing moving parts. There is nothing to hold on to.
- A Warrior Queen wakes up to what samsara is, the suffering of life. She rises above the suffering and emerges with the understanding that everything is impermanent.
- A Warrior Queen knows what creates more suffering – acting in non-virtuous ways out of bewilderment, fixation, aggression, jealousy and pride. (oh my family would have a field day here – hey guys if you are reading this, I Love You, work with me here).
- A Warrior Queen acts with intention of kindness, love, patience and non-attachment because these intentions elevate the mind above negative emotions. (Sometimes so hard to do when waiting on a long line at the UPS store. But you do it. You just do it.)
- A Warrior Queen wishes others well throughout the day, knowing her heart can melt even the harshest judgement and suffering.
- A Warrior Queen is never selfish. She has a noble heart that desires all to find their true happiness (pro tip: this is another thing that is really hard to do when you want to punch someone in the face really hard- but you just do it). She works for all to go in the direction of their hearts.
- A Warrior Queen doesn’t burden others with her suffering, but shares the wisdom she has gained. (inspired by a Ted Talk from Carolyn Myss “Choices that Can Change Your Life“
- A Warrior Queen acts from the sacred self and chooses throughout the day to be at peace. (and sometimes that means avoiding people who are a real pain in the ass).
- A Warrior Queen moves through life from a deep conscious knowing and has NO DOUBT that she is a warrior queen and so are all her brothers and sisters on this spinning planet.
- A Warrior Queen is filled with only unconditional love for all beings.
I am the Warrior Queen.
“You wanna fly, you got to give up the shit that weighs you down.” Tony Morrison
Asylum Art sketches Januz Miralles
We aren’t real enough with others about who we are.
We don’t laugh enough.
We hold on too tight.
We complicate things.
We make too many fear-based decisions.
We constantly defend ourselves, even when we shouldn’t.
Our lives could be so much easier if we would just quiet down our own minds.
Reading: The Untethered Soul.
Artwork by Richard Kirk.
Because I am more prone to incessant worry about future events than I am to anticipating good outcomes, or pleasant surprises, I continue to struggle with my pessimism bias. That is I tend to exaggerate the likelihood that negative things will happen in the future.
This morning, walking back from the gym, I had a thought drop in from the sky. A simple little question just popped into my head. The question I pondered. . .
I wonder, how good can it get?
or better said by Alan Cohen . . .
Here, a cheat sheet to the many cognitive biases that keep us stuck.
Featured image “Open mind” ceramic series by Johnson Tsang
I use to fill every moment of my day with something I could cross off my list later. #thatain’tliving
Elizabeth Carlson “I am Falling in Love with My Imperfections“. A poem to learn from.
The more time I spend with the aging and the dying, the more I am beginning to understand what really matters each day.
Their regrets become my wisdom and the important lessons to win tomorrow, while there is still life to be lived. This is the stuff I should’ve learned so long ago and the lessons that should be taught in school.
1. This moment right now, make it matter. Make this moment important, vital and worth living.
For so long I made a pact with myself to seek the truth, until I realized, that . . .
2. The truth you seek is only a matter of your perspective. There are many different versions of the truth.
There are many realities. There are many versions of what appears obvious. Whatever appears as the unshakeable truth, its exact opposite may also be true in another context. – Amish Tripathi
Embrace the ability to see all things as they are and not as we ‘think’ they are. Reality in all it’s forms, is our friend.
3. All of our experiences shape us. We should seek new experiences and adventures each day. Try stuff. All sorts of stuff. Expand our borders.
You may think your “story” is boring, ordinary and not worth sharing, but you are wrong. Very wrong. You have some experience with life and someone out there can learn from your mistakes. You hold the power to lift someone up with a single sentence, a lesson learned. Share your lessons with strangers.
4. We are so much more powerful than we even know. Our words can be weapons, a single sentence can be as sharp as a sword. You can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration.
To play our roles in life well – whatever the roles are, brother, father, husband, wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend, mentor. . .we simply must be and do that which is right at the moment and do it with patience and kindness.
5. The purpose of human life is to serve and to show compassion and the will to help others.
So listen deeply to friends and enemies. Listen quietly for all the missing words, the things they don’t say. All of it can teach you as well.
And remember, fear not the angry and rageful. To see compassionately how others may be in pain.
Stay soft and available always. Yes, you can train, practice and prepare for the future, but most importantly, be adaptable, flexible and ready to pivot, detour and move on when things aren’t going well.
Sharing our gifts, bringing our best and leaving those we encounter feeling stronger and more inspired after we leave them.
Be emotionally free, while letting go of all resentment and anger. Forgiving all.
6. Continue to strip life of all that bogs us down. Boiling our actions down to the most important.
Speaking fewer words, owning less of everything, accomplishing more by doing less. Every so often, it is our duty to cleanse our emotional baggage and past hurt. Heal our pain and fix our faulty parts by becoming more self-aware while understanding the genesis of our emotions
7. Treat ourselves well. Guard our minds, keep thoughts bright, clear and as strong as can be.
8. To prepare for the transition of life/death/life. Learning to love the open ended mystery of not knowing why.
Balance out the days with enough sleep time, intimacy time, work & focus time, time in (self-reflection), down time and play time. Live each day as if it was your last.
Remember this, when it all falls apart or there’s a heavy cross to bear and the storm is on the horizon. Learn to adapt and adjust daily.
“Amid a world of noisy, shallow actors it is noble to stand aside and say, ‘I will simply be.”
― Henry David Thoreau
“Follow your inner moonlight; don’t hide the madness.”
― Allen Ginsberg
“The snow goose need not bathe to make itself white. Neither need you do anything but be yourself.”
― Lao Tzu
- Featured art “Sounding Silence” by