In Omnia Paratus – Ready for All Things – Self-Awareness & Other Life Advice My Mother Never Told Me

I strongly believe it is everyone’s responsibility to create a firm daily devotion to committing oneself to life long learning and the continual development of waking up with honest self-awareness.


This morning I was thinking about some of the teachings of spiritual catalyst, Teal Swan, specifically her guidance about the importance of having an emotional wake up call.

“Our emotional selves are children. And they never grow up. We just learn how to parent our emotional selves better.”

emotional intelligence


Yes my parents gave me good guidance, but they couldn’t possibly have told me everything. Here are a few lessons I am learning along the way . . .

  • This moment, right here, right now is the only one you have. Feel it, see it, taste it, hear it and take it all in. Be here now.  The book by Ram Dass


  • Hold sacred an unconditional, nonjudgmental relationship with reality as it is right now.
  • omnia mutantur, nos et mutamur in illis All things change, and we change with them.  Adapt every day.
  • Trust your basic wisdom.
  • Everything takes time. It’s okay to live life on your time. You don’t have to run with the herd.
  • Watch how you talk to yourself. Realize when you are too self-critical. Stop the pattern. Break the loop.

first step

  • Do not worry about how others look at you, what they are thinking or whether you fit in.  Being “normal” will get you nowhere.
  • When all else fails, be kind.
  • Again, try to be gentle and soft with yourself and with others.
  • Stop pressuring yourself. Rushing anything simply ruins it. Slooooooowwwww down.


  • There is rarely ever anything to be nervous about.  Face what you think makes you weary.  Get curious about that.
  • Remember you are a miracle. Nothing short of a miracle.
  • Time is precious. There is none to waste.


  • You have what it takes to try anything you want. There are many options, choices and directions you can go.  Experiment with your life.
  • You are dying with every single breath. Appreciate every single moment. Even the most annoying ones.
  • At any given moment, everything is always as it should be. Acceptance brings serenity.


  • You can not control everything.
  • You must control the way you respond to others.
  • Get to know what triggers your strongest emotions. There’s the work that needs to be done.


  • At any given moment, you will know the right thing to do.
  • Be thoughtful about everything, even if others are not.
  • You don’t have to be larger than life, famous or popular. You simply have to play your part in this wonderful life to the best of your ability, every day.
  • Do something ridiculously fun every single day.
  • Whatever action you take, whatever word you say, make sure it decreases pain in the world.
  • People may disappoint you if they aren’t working on themselves. Forgive yourself for being impatient with them. For they no not what they do.
  • Anger and resentment are poison and will manifest into physical ailments. Let go everyday. If you feel yourself getting overly heated and enraged, step away for awhile. Retreat, think, respond.


  • Your emotions are important for they tell you what to do. Yes, some of them are signals, but they are here to guide you, not take over your day and life.
  • Some emotions are false, yes they are you, trying to protect you, but don’t fall prey to every single one, over reacting to situations is usually related to an over sensitivity to past trauma. The problem arises when you start to react in a bigger way than justified. Read: How to Stop Overreacting.
  • Stop making up doom and gloom stories about what might happen in the future. Not everything is going to be a disaster.
  • When in doubt about what to do, do something good. Good for you, good for others.
  • Open up your heart, be real, be vulnerable. Life is not meant to be lived in the safe zone.
  • The painful moments are the lessons. Move through your problems by facing them for they will tell you a lot about yourself.  What haunts you must be addressed. Release your tendency to run away, to seek pleasure before pain.


  • Have an unconditional, loving relationship with the world. There is no escape, no exit. There are lessons to be learned every day. Everyone you encounter is your teacher. Pay attention.  Pema Chodron.

I would love to know what lessons you learned on your own. Share below in the comments.




Why We Fail to Become Our Best

Doubts don’t kill dreams, delusional thoughts do. Our half-beliefs and uncertain thoughts are trying to tell us something very important and it is our responsibility to listen up and act.

Negative mind chatter

These annoying worries that wake us up early and keep us from moving forward, hold the power to help us grow and become stronger.

While most of us tend to drown out the worry, anxiety and concern, I am interested in finding out what happens when instead of tuning out self-doubt, I give it an ear. What is my self doubt trying to tell me?


Listening and questioning about my worry and ruminating thoughts of . . .


Do I have my priorities straight? Am I doing what is most important to me? What is best for all? What have I been ignoring? What should I take care of now?


How have I let others down? Am I treating others and myself in a caring and endearing way? What have I neglected to do?

Am I continuing to keep up with my skills? Will my work actually effect the lives of others?  Will it make an impact? If not, what might I do instead?
Am I practicing what I preach? Am I as loving, patient and compassionate as I could be?
What am I not doing enough of? How can I bring more value? How can I contribute more? Where am I needed?

Self-doubt reminds us that we have work to do. It nags at us -we need to improve.


It tells us that we are not finished, that we can and we should try to become more . . .thoughtful. . . honest, intelligent. . .loving, patient, wise. . .compassionate, empathetic. .

The uncertainty and apprehension of self-doubt, the emotions that ride along, that keep us fearful and manifest into worry and anxiety can really improve us. If we listen and take action.

These feelings don’t have to drown us and we don’t have to drown them.


Yet and while we are at it, we must hold on to some confidence. Anxiety and worry should push us to power on, to move forward and to hone our skills, better our behavior and become an improved version of our former selves. Not break us down.

BUT. . .


First things first, we must cease and desist the ongoing self-delusion.




“you think I’m crazy,” she said.

“no,” he said, “you’re not crazy enough”


Few people nowadays know what man is. Many sense this ignorance and die the more easily because of it . . . I do not consider myself less ignorant than most people . . . I have been and still am a seeker, but I have ceased to question stars and books; I have begun to listen to the teachings my blood whispers to me. My story is not a pleasant one; it is neither sweet nor harmonious as invented stories are; it has the taste of nonsense and chaos, of madness and dreams like the lives of all men who stop deceiving themselves. (Hesse 105)

Hesse, Herman. Siddartha, Demian, and other Writings. Ed. Egon Schwarz. New York: Continuum, 1992.


I am deceiving myself every time I . . .

  • underestimate the amount of time it takes to do something.
  • continue on with conflicting behavior that does not align itself with my ideals.
  • set goals that I don’t yet have the tools, skills or talent to reach.
  • think I got my point across, when I believe I made myself understood but the other person did not listen- did I use the right words, the best tone, how can I command more respect, get others to really listen?
  • tell myself that was my very best – I gave it my all. Push on.
  • blow things out of proportion – thinking that problems are bigger than they really are.
  • make excuses for bad behavior -lashing out, behaving poorly or treating others in a way I would never wish to be treated.
  • tell myself something is going to be easier than it actually is.
  • have an idea, that I think it’s a great idea, even though I haven’t tested it.


Those who are slow to confess their errors are busy constructing lies to conceal them. – Unknown.




Sometimes we must detach as we question.
& remain cautiously optimistic, which is fostered as . . .
no blind faith.png
. . .a feeling of general confidence regarding a situation and/or its outcome coupled with a readiness for possible difficulties or failure.

Directions for listening and acting on self-doubt and delusion.

Take inventory. List what must be done and then take deliberate action. Self doubt will dissipate and melt away with each attempt you make, measure you take, routine you practice, habit you build. . .  the stronger you will feel, the more confident you become. Taking action to improve your behavior will soothe away the worry and concern.
Remember it is thoughtful and deliberate action . . .
continue on with dedicated practice . . .


Featured image 

Apparition of Face and Fruit Dish on a Beach, 1938 by Salvador Dali

Surefire Success: How to Get What You Want

I love listening in between the lines. Especially to smart people. People like performance coach, Tony Robbins. Evan Carmichael edited an all day Tony coach session that you can watch here.  I am watching about ten minutes a day every morning and taking copious notes.

Inspired by Tony’s tenacious approach, I created this surefire success equation to get anything you want. Anything. A raise at work, a new startup business off the ground, shed the last ten pounds, you name it. Anything you want.

  1. Know what you want and believe you can have it.
  2. Know what it takes to get what you want. If you don’t know, find out. Ask the people who have what you want what it took to get it. What did they have to do to achieve the results. How long did it take? How much work did they do each day? 
  3. Ask yourself the question, what is absolutely certain, 100% necessary, in order for me to get what I want. What must I do in order to get the results I want.
  4. Make the list of what you absolutely must do and get to work.
  5. Do the work. Do it daily. Check off the list. And then review your results. Be sure you are getting closer to getting what you want. If you are not getting results, get REAL with yourself. What are you not doing? What are you doing wrong? Where do you need help? New skills? 
  6. Ask yourself, can I do any of these tasks, the actual work, better. Not faster, not quicker, but better. Are there any tools to help me perform the work better? Any professionals out there who can coach you? If there are, then find the tools, find the people. Use the tools. Hire the people.
  7. When you do get what you want, appreciate it. Be grateful for the work it took to get there.

What type of mindset does it take to win? To outperform and produce stellar results.


It’s not just practice that produces results. It’s perfect mindful practice. Practice combined with absolute certainty that you will achieve whatever you set out to do. You burn the boats.

Tip Sheet for #6


Absolute certainty that makes you tap into your full potential that has you take massive action which in turn produces remarkable results that reinforces your belief in your absolute certainty.

This is what it takes to get what you want.

And using failure as a tool.


Mindset Tip

Don’t choke at the free throw line. Be absolutely certain in your mind that you know without a doubt that you will achieve the results you want.


We Gather Strength As We Go

No Bone” that’s what was written in black Sharpie marker on the bandages wrapped around her head.  The trauma team wheeled my daughter past the waiting room so quickly I had to look twice and then again. No bone? what does that mean? Did they remove her skull?


It was an icy, sleeting, snowing, stormy day. The accident was bad. Ariel was brought to Nassau County Trauma Center and put on life support immediately. By the time we got to the hospital she was out of surgery. The removed her part of her skull to relieve the pressure.

One severe acquired brain injury, a terrifying time through her coma, two major head surgeries, four months at Mt. Sinai Hospital’s Traumatic Brain Injury center and two and a half years of rehabilitation later. It’s now been nine years since the accident.


How do we get through times like these?

We gather strength as we go.

Yes life can be hard. But we stay strong and in the moment.

We see clearly and act correctly.

Endure and accept the world as it is right now.
We ask good questions. Like what are the opportunities that can come from this obstacle ?

We remain positive and see things for what they are – and no worse.
Do what we can.
Endure and bear what we must.
We gather strength as we go & grow.
Inspired by my life and the amazing book The Obstacle is the Way by Ryan Holiday

Three Things to Make Your Life Better


how-to-get-people-to-tell-the-truth2-620Three things that are helping me grow right now . . .

1. Understanding Certainty vs Accuracy

The Quest:  How to know the truth.

Understanding that just because someone appears confident in what they are telling you, meaning they seem to be 100% certain about their story, doesn’t mean that the story is 100% accurate. Be careful and cautious about believing what you hear, read and watch. “Certainty” does not always equal accuracy. Stay cautiously skeptical.

2. Awareness of The Likability Bias

The Quest: How to remain aware of our behavior.

It’s such a simple concept to understand, yet we continually fall prey to it when we really don’t have to – and great sales people know how to use it. The liking bias knows that the more we like someone the more we are likely to buy something from them or help them in some way. Be weary of people throwing you compliments, those who are friendly too fast. This can have you purchasing things you don’t really need and over extending yourself to do something you really don’t have time to do.

3. Asking Bigger, Better Questions

The Quest: How to have better outcomes.

I have to admit I struggled with this one for a while, but I think I finally got it down and I will start with an example. I can ask myself “What do I need to do today?” or I could start with a better question What should I do today to make it a more productive day?”  

I can also get more detailed with each question. For example, instead of asking “Where can I learn editing techniques for my videos?” I can ask “What three editing techniques do I want to learn to make awesome videos?”

I’d love to hear what you have learned or what you find useful in your life. Please share in the comments below.

The Benefits of Designing Your Own Life Training Program

trainingUnlike those in the military, police force or competitive and professional sports, most of us are not required to have a disciplined training program every day. I have come to appreciate that no matter what you do, whether you are a graphic designer, content writer, human resource manager, executive recruiter, financial advisor or dog walker – it doesn’t matter – all of us could benefit by designing our own quality training program for life. I am in the process of reading the book Daily Rituals: How Artists Work and while I find it amusing and a fun read, what I am really looking for in my own training program is something a bit more well-ordered and purposeful.

Result Rituals – Mind Wide Open

While I have started a daily program of what I call “result rituals” I am always in the process of fine tuning and adding elements to my regiment to increase my chances of results. My main goal – to become the best version of me I can be.  I think it’s hard to argue that we should all strive to be the best we can be. One book that looks like it might help is Mind Wide Open: Your Brain and the Neuroscience of Everyday Life

A Quality Training Regiment

A quality training regiment (both physical and mental) that includes-

  • A physical workout that also focuses on maintenance to prevent injury.
  • Learning something new everyday to stay up to speed in our field of work.
  • A spiritual program to keep us connected to our personal higher source in order stay in line with our values.

The Frustration of Staying Focused

I had a moment of realization today as I was thinking about how to be more focused. It’s hard to stay focused when we try to do too much. I think my brain begins to realize that if I have 20 things to do on my list, it will be impossible, so without my evening realizing it, my brain doesn’t believe I will get everything done and starts to struggle with the idea of feeling overwhelmed. Unrealistic expectations set us up for failure. Thinking we can accomplish too much in too little time. Be very mindful of how much you put upon yourself each day. Set realistic goals for the days, weeks and months ahead. Goals that have you improve, but with doable steps. We rarely leap to success, it’s usually in the small daily wins that we find we eventually reach our goals. 


I am currently working toward the following goals.

Be More Here –  All the Time.

Just ten minutes of meditation has helped me throughout the day. I am less apt to get distracted and learning to be at home in my mind and body. Meditation teaches us to watch the state we are in – are you daydreaming? worrying? what are you thinking about? One great tip -have a mirror at your desk and every once in a while look at yourself. Where are you? Are you here?

 A Lasting and Consistent Way to Stay in Line with Our Values

Every morning I have been reading a few paragraphs of Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl which reminds me that it’s easy right now to say that I want to be the highest version of myself, but it is in the midst of darkness and despair when we need our faith and values most. I am training for the future. For the days when things might not be so bright and easy.

A Quote from Man’s Search for Meaning

I mentioned earlier how everything that was not connected with the immediate task of keeping oneself and one’s closest friends alive lost its value. Everything was sacrificed to this end. A man’s character became involved to the point that he was caught in a mental turmoil which threatened all the values he held and threw them into doubt.   Man’s Search for Meaning, Viktor E. Frankl

Side note:

Great list of the 10 Biggest Mistakes When Setting Goals by Michael Hyatt.



peak performance


I really appreciate practical approaches for creating meaningful change in my life.

In the last few days, I have gathered some tips from Tony Schwartz author of The Power of Full Engagement: Managing Energy, Not Time, Is the Key to High Performance and Personal Renewal and Robin Sharma The Greatness Guide: 101 Lessons for Making What’s Good at Work and in Life Even Better

My focus this week, moving from the survival zone to thriving in the performance zone.

This is where many of us spend a good portion of our days. I  was just a mess yesterday as I spent my morning commuting through Manhattan’s busiest transportation hubs thinking about terrorist threats. I shut off the news immediately and stayed out of the subway.

Letting anger, frustration or fear take control. We don’t normally choose it, most of the time it happens to us. Whether we don’t feel appreciated, valued, respected or recognized, it doesn’t matter. We just can’t really live our best lives in this state.

the performance zone

A place where we feel clarity, freedom and a sense of accomplishment. This is a nice place to be. I like it here.

Robin Sharma recommends starting each day with a 20/20/20 lift off.

20 minutes of exercise, 20 minutes of journaling (gratitude and thoughts) and 20 minutes of learning.

Tony Schwartz recommends the four following simple ways to living better days.

Physical –  sleep more -it’s more important than eating. Go to bed 30 minutes earlier and wake up 30 minutes later. Play around with the time and see how you feel.

Emotional – feeling frustrated? Don’t send that email just yet! Quiet down the body with deep breathing in for a count of three and out for six. Do it slowly for three minutes.  This cuts out the flow of cortisol and puts your body and mind into a more relaxed state.

Mental – do the most important thing every morning for 60- 90 minutes (no more) every day. Do the work that will add the greatest value to your life and business first.

Spiritual -remind yourself who you are serving and reconnect to your values. Doing the right thing. Ask yourself everyday How would I behave at my best today?

I am curious, how do you lift off for better days? All practical tips and advice are welcome. Please share!