Retraining your brain, reforming your life. by Madeline Johnson
I am training my brain to replace my worries and fears with positive, grateful and loving thoughts.
Staying still. Noticing moments so holy, so beautiful, so sacred.
All day, I stay focused on emptying my mind and freeing my thoughts and clearing all negative emotion. It seems crazy, like I am talking to myself, and I am. I just no longer want to be sad and struggling. There is no other way out. I want to connect.
What a shame to have wasted all that time, thinking things that never came true. Unnecessary struggles. A stunning waste of headspace.
I want to show up like an empty vessel to conversations, events and meetings. I don’t want to contribute my judgmental mind and ruin the potential of something potent.
This must be what they mean when they say get out of your own way.
This is the most difficult thing I have done in my life, but the voice inside me tells me it must be done. Free my mind.
The two things you need to know about reaching your goals. Where you are going and that you are going to get there. By Madeline Johnson
Some days you may feel like a ship lost at sea without a rudder. Directionless and powerless. Like a fish out of water, floundering.
And some days it is perfectly fine to be lost, to wander, to float . . . . until you stumble upon that thing. . . . you have a breakthrough, and an idea, and you discover that dream you really want to do.
Then you just know.
You know where you are going and that you are going to get there.
Read that again: You know the WHEREyou want to be and without a doubt that you WILL GET THERE. Just like when you drive to the store at night to get ice cream. You know the flavor you want and you know how delicious it will taste. You even have a plan for your second favorite . . .just in case.
You don’t need to worry about the how. There is no need to know how you are going to get there. That is nonsense. That doesn’t matter as much, because you know there are many roads you can take to where you are going. Some more bumpy and uncomfortable than others. There may even be mountains you need to climb along the way. Some days there will be detours, other days short cuts.
The secret to success . . .
You know where you are going and that you are going to get there.
Featured Artist
David Zinn is a street artist specializing in small-scale, improvised and (mostly) light-hearted chalk art.
Clarity + patience + humility = victory by Madeline Johnson
“Where you are headed is more important than how fast you are going”
~ Stephen Covey
Single-minded focus + patience + humility =
victory
Clarity gives you energy, a direction, a plan and courage. Before you begin get very, very, very clear on what you need and what you want first. Then hit the peddle.
Being humble does not, in any way, equate to being a pushover or a doormat. One can be kind and still be immensely effective and powerful. To be humble is to lay your ego to rest and to become comfortable in your humanness.
“To live fully is to always be in “no-man’s land”, to experience each moment as completely new and fresh. To live is to be willing to die over and over again.” Read Pema Chodron’s When Thing’s Fall Apart
Having patience means being able to wait calmly in the face of frustration or adversity, so anywhere there is frustration or adversity—i.e., nearly everywhere—we have the opportunity to practice it. Read More “The Benefits of Being a Patient Person”
Featured Artwork
Nicole Watt is an internationally exhibited self-taught mixed media sculpture artist living and creating in the wilderness of Southern Tasmania, Australia. Her exquisitely simplistic and emotionally driven characters blossom from a world long forgotten; a world hidden in the shadows of imagination where the wind blows wild, the trees groan with ancient secrets born from the whispers of the ancestors.
It usually happens when I declare I am going to learn something new. Like right now, I am learning how to film
and edit with Adobe Premiere Pro. Hours can go by and I don’t even know what happened. I am so involved in the process. Struggling through learning something new on After Effects, I look up and it’s 11 pm. My Fitbit app telling me it’s time to get some rest. I like this kind of work. The work I can get lost in.
I use to worry about whether something new that I am trying (like video) is “good enough”? I wondered if I seemed really amateur (of course I am, I just started). I realize that while I may suck now I won’t always stay at this level. Especially if I commit myself to practicing every day.
Yesterday’s challenge was filming one of my favorite places at the very start of my favorite season, summer.
I came up with some strategies to get over my fear of not being good enough because. . .
I can’t think of anything more frightening than a boring life.
Stop rushing. Give yourself more time. Lot’s of it. Getting good takes time. Be more thoughtful with everything. Take out a notebook or your phone notes and list everything you have to do in order to produce good work. What do you need to learn? practice? – including what you must read and watch before you can begin. Create a strategy to be good enough.
Never compare what you do, create, write, film, edit to ANYONE ELSE’S WORK
Good enough compared to what? Doesn’t matter. You are just starting out. If you are going to compare your work, compare it to the newcomers, the just starting, the first timers.
Get inspired by learning from the BEST work. Watch the greats, read the bestsellers, listen to award-winning talks. Ignite your enthusiasm and raise your standards by looking for great mentors and creators. Don’t compare, but learn. Decipher their best techniques and use them in your work.
Start. Do a very little thing. Pick up the camera, dust off the sewing machine, buy a good pen and notebook and just do one small project, something you can do.
The grass is greener where it’s watered. Nurture your work. Train and practice something daily. Learn something daily. Don’t know what to learn? Don’t know what you need? Ask a question and Google it. Read more than one answer. Watch more than one tutorial.
Look at children’s artwork. Remember that we all start out sucky. Cute but really sucky. Be prepared to suck at first. That’s okay.
Only show people your work when you are absolutely ready. Don’t show off your first draft or your second. Go back and revise it until you are super confident that that is your best version so far.
Don’t try to do the hard stuff first. Do the easy stuff first. Make it easy to start. Don’t climb the mountain, take a short hike. Do it every day. Write one paragraph, paint one stroke, sketch one prototype.
Review your past accomplishments, some things you are really proud of because that work will remind you of what you can do when you put your mind to it. What was your process there? Did you put in a lot of time? effort? energy?
Remove all negative energy – including people from your life. The cranky, the crazy, the ignorant, the complainers, the whiners and the naysayers. Drop em like their hot. Don’t let them violate your psychic space.
Do not seek approval, even your own. Just do the work. Struggle through it. Get a headache, drink more coffee, open up ten tabs, watch the video tutorial again. Save the link. It’s okay. Then take a break.
When you start procrastinating, call yourself out. Don’t let the laundry, your kids, the beautiful sunshiney day outside tempt you to stop. You are in training. Stay focused and disciplined. That’s how your work gets better. A little bit every day.
Don’t forget feedback. Especially good feedback, from the pros and those also giving it their all. Feedback will have you feeling like your actually working on your new project. You are all in.
I am curious, what are you working on? How have you dealt with the “Am I good enough?” concern. Comment below.
My husband drives me crazy. He never writes anything down. Not a single reminder. Not even a note in his phone. He laughs at all my list making. So what.
The Secret to Achieving Your Goals
Now, I imagine if you are reading this, the headline got you and you are looking to achieve something great. Weight loss? More money? Better relationships? Peace of mind? Whatever you are attempting to get better at, it helps to set goals.Here is the formula I found works for anything I want to achieve and it is a mash up of some of the best advice and tips from experts throughout history on how to go about setting and achieving goals.
Scientific behavioral studies at Harvard have proven that those who WRITE down their SPECIFIC and ACHIEVABLE goalsincreasetheir chances 10 fold. I add that WRITING and SPEAKING your goals OUT LOUD with emotion each day in the morning (and maybe in the evening too) increases your success even further.
It’s simple, it’s easy and here is how it works.
STEP 1.SET PRECISE and MEASURABLE goals that you are CONFIDENT that you can achieve.
For example: I want to lose five (5) pounds by Thanksgiving, November 25, 2015.
I found this free Body Weight Planner recommended by Shape Magazine and developed by the National Institute for Health with the help of Dr. Kevin Hall’s research group for Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases to better understand how diet and exercise quantitatively contribute to weight loss and weight loss maintenance.
According to this calculator, I’ll achieve this measurable goal if I walk/hike and run at a moderate jogging pace for 60 minutes a day seven (7) days a week consuming no more than 1,955 calories a day. I calculate this is a loss of .75 (3/4) of a pound a week.
STEP 2.WRITE them down on paper (or in your phone) and keep them in CLEAR site. READ the goal OUT LOUD each morning.
Me in the mirror every morning:
I will be 123 pounds by Thanksgiving in 48 days by following these easy steps to achieve this weight. I will practice self-discipline and design my days around achieving this goal. Relentlessly.
STEP 3.BREAK down the goal and REMOVE all obstacles involved in the process of achieving it.
Each Bite Counts
Each day, I commit to counting calories – the LoseIt App is wonderful for this, as is the FitBit calorie tracker. You can also use a note book. Here are 5 great calorie counting sites/apps that you might want to try. I will jot down what I ate or take a photo of what I ate to calculate my calorie intake every day.
What if it’s raining?
How will I make SURE that I get in a 60 minute moderate run/hike each day? What if it rains and I can’t go outside? Will I go to the gym? Do I have a way of doing this at home in the house? Will I ask a friend to hold me accountable? Will I get it out of the way every morning? What if I am traveling?
Have a PLAN to REMOVE every obstacle.
No more chips. Damn.
I eliminate all refined carbohydrates from my daily meals. No breads, crackers, chips, cookies, etc. I will try to each a very healthy, plant-based meal with protein three (3) times a day and limit by alcohol to 1 glass of white wine. I will consume no more than 1,955 calories a day.
STEP 4.READ your goal OUT LOUD every morning and include HOW you will FEEL when you achieve your GOAL.
Me, in my head all day long:
I will look and feel amazing in my jeans, feel lighter on my feet and freer and more energetic. All that movement will also help me feel less anxious and healthier at 123 lbs.
You can do this four step process with anything you want to achieve, including making new friends, getting a raise, building a business, whatever. The secret is a mindful attention with intention and focus on your goal.
When you stop to think about where you will be in 10 years, what do you consider? Will you be doing the things you are doing right now? Will you be richer? Thinner? In love? Famous?
Tomorrow is Today
Focusing on our future selves helps us to make new decisions about what we should be doing right now. With this vision and connection to our future self we can apply the action needed today to make the changes in order to be a more fantastic future versions of ourselves.
One caveat. It will take self-control.
So if you really want to be 20 lbs lighter in the future, put down that bag of chips right now and stop mindlessly eating at your desk.
The Future is Here
Want to know what your future will look like? Thanks to technology, you can get a glimpse. This website lets you talk to your future self using a sophisticated combination of motion capture software, speech recognition and 3D imaging. You will need to download the latest version of Chrome to check it out here. It’s really fun, I promise.
Need a bit of help with self-disclipine and control? Who doesn’t?
I am adding yet another new daily habit of 30 minutes of focus and deep concentration by journaling precisely what I want to create in life with the honest intention of being in service to everyone I meet. I imagine and behold a (super) better version of myself, eliminating any negative thoughts including envy, hatred, judgement, selfishness or cynicism. No matter what, I will carve out this time to make sure this becomes a ritual in my life.
“. . . in applying one’s whole soul to doing right and speaking the truth. There remains only the enjoyment of living a liked succession of good deeds, with not the slightest gap between them.” – Marcus Aurelius
The other evening I was pulling my hair out while trying to free up some space on my computer with Daisy Disk (not worth the $9.99, a total waste). After backing up my laptop I had to restore my operating system. Not something I wanted to be doing at 11 pm at night. I have no patience for this, but it’s like laundry and cleaning the kitchen, it just needs to get done. But I had a moment of true realization while I waited for my Mac to restart with a new blank desktop – I am also in the process of refreshing and restoring my operating system. Some call it reinventing ourselves.
The Act of Envisioning the Future
The way I see it, we can worry about the future or we can focus on creating a better story for tomorrow. Recognizing that the dominating thoughts of my mind will eventually transform themselves into physical reality, I have committed to concentrating my thoughts on precisely who I want to become and I am creating a crystal clear picture of that person each day, by writing a new future. This also helps with incessant useless monkey-mind worry because I am putting my thoughts to better use. I highly recommend you try it for yourself.
True Grit
Just like building a start up or pursuing any dream, this life project of mine requires deliberate practice and focus and as many have come to understand a great dose of grit. Grit defined as perseverance and persistence coupled with an unwillingness to wilt, complain, or cry about my current state. It’s the ability to accept my reality and make the best of it, never wishing I was somewhere else, or in someone else’s shoes.
I have come to understand that people who value grit have a number of things in common. They appreciate everything in their lives and what they have right now.
The “gritty” among us also –
Remain cautiously optimistic.
Exercise their muscle of self-control.
Have a higher level of social intelligence.
Maintain the ability to preserver through even the toughest times.
Stay enthusiastic about the process.
Embrace the art of curiosity about everything. Even their problems.
Grit: harnessing the courage, the resiliency, and the power within.
Climbing Hills and Recreating Blue Zones
Barring heavy rain or deep wet snow, every day I take a 25 minute steep hill hike around my town. What I am trying to do is recreate the effect that blue zones have on the body. Blue Zones are places in the world where people live to 100 and stay healthy.
The five blue zones are as follows:
The Italian island of Sardinia
Okinawa, Japan
Loma Linda, California
Costa Rica’s isolated Nicoya Peninsula
Ikaria, an isolated Greek island
The people in blue zones don’t need to artificially incorporate exercise into their lives with machines. The exercise comes for free, already built into their daily lives naturally. Common across all of the blue zones is that the people climb mountains, walk through the hills, work the land, and generally use their bodies in a constant grind as they perform their daily activities. And it doesn’t have to be high intensity “run as fast as you can” exercise either.
To live long and healthy requires a constant, daily lifestyle of positive enrichment for the body and mind. For many this may seem hard, but it doesn’t have to be. Read more about what it takes to live to 100 here.
The more I learn and think about how I want to design my life, the more I believe it is important to write my own rules, have my own set of commandments, my own guiding principles for success.
This list here includes some of the most important ways in which I wish to serve the world. I am sure it will grow and change as I progress. Does anything ring true with you? Anything you recommend to add?
If I don’t feel it, I won’t do it.
Set (very) clear expectations with everyone.
Build my life on truth and all will be okay.
Don’t be a slave to striving.
Grit, what it takes to persevere, is a combination of gratitude, optimism, self-control, social intelligence, enthusiasm and curiosity.
Pros do what they have to do. I choose to go pro.
Don’t act on auto pilot.
Seek to discover new solutions to sticky, old problems.
Slow down a bit. Give myself some more time to complete things in an improved way.
Say know. Know what I must do to make the day just 1% better, each day.
Don’t try to control what others are doing.
Beware of getting caught up in group think – the delusion of the masses.
Most of us in the western part of the world believe that karma is a supernatural universal law of justice. He or she did something bad, hurtful, deceitful, etc. well, karma will get them in the end.
The reality and truth is, when the eastern sages spoke about karma, they were speaking about selfishness. The word “karma” in Sanskrit means “action” and the Buddha believed in two types of action. Bad selfish action and good selfless action. Bad selfish action promotes, protects and aggrandizes the ego which in turn leads to inner suffering, distress, remorse and guilt.
The real suffering is on the inside and when we are unconscious of our perpetuating selfish actions, however small they may be, we continue to suffer all the time.
I stumbled upon this explanation and more from Leo Gura on Actualized.org. What Is Karma exactly? – Watch a rational explanationof how karma really works and why it’s extremely relevant to your happiness levels.
On My Book Shelf
Instant Karma is a collection of thousands of ways to create good karma for yourself and others. The advice in Barbara Ann Kipfer’s book is based on the principles of Buddhism and emphasizes the importance of physical health, spiritual growth and peace.
A few pearls of wisdom from this little gem of a book.
Throughout the day, ask yourself, Am I paying attention?
Then ask yourself, Why judge?
Do not expect praise or reward.
Give confidence to others.
Life is positive, only your thinking is negative.
See everything in your life as a gift.
Remember that looking for happiness outside yourself is like expecting to get in shape by watching others exercise.
and don’t be afraid of finding love on line. Check out these top ten best dating apps 
