Life Advice from Brilliant Minds
Sometimes it feels like we are too close to our lives to actually know when we are missing the mark. We could do better, we know we can, but we don’t speak up. We don’t take action. Trapped in a haze of busyness, we miss the bigger opportunities to level up, to ask for more and own our position.
Nose to the grindstone, head buried in the sand, we get caught up in accepting things the way they are. We are too busy doing other things.
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We learn by default every day anyway. Why not be more selective about what we absorb? By Madeline Johnson
Welcome another day. This one cool, wet, windy and wild. The weather is doing its thing. A downpour upon us. Everything is sopping.
This day, a new day, so many different ways to play it. Flow a little, push a little, try a little. Put some things down for good.
Some mornings it feels like I am being forced back into existence. This time perhaps, a bit more discerning. Not skeptical or cynical, no not that.
I rise with more intention. To be more discriminating about my life – about what I say, I do or agree to.
Which makes sense, because someone with discerning tastes or a discerning eye is good at distinguishing the good from the bad and sifting out the gems from the junk.
So I spend some time fine tuning my mind. Scanning my brain and examining my heart. It’s a good exercising for the early hours. Oh inner wisdom, do tell me what I need right now.
The seeking, wanting, and knowing the difference about the way things are and the way things could be. I didn’t say should, I said, could.
Viveka – To Perceive More Clearly
Discernment is described as “keen perception; insight; acumen”. Viveka, the Sanskrit word for discernment, is about seeing things as they are. Insight is seeing into something, from our inner self, not from outer rigid standards, opinions, or social pressures. When we use Viveka, we are tapping into something much deeper than our egos passing judgment. We are using the ability to perceive clearly.
Viveka is a Sanskrit term that can be translated as “right understanding,” “discrimination” or “discrimination knowledge.” It is one of the four attributes of a spiritual disciple. It is the ability to differentiate between the real and unreal, eternal and temporary, Self and non-Self, pleasure and bliss. It is a spiritual practice of realizing the Truth and the Soul.
For a while I was seeking the truth. I wanted to be absolutely certain.
Now, like a cosmic sleuth, I seek the soul truth.
There is always far more to be seen than the obvious. Tune within yourself to connect.
My soul says no.
When we say yes to everything, we are lazy. It’s difficult to make decisions. Decisions take thought and energy.
Do fewer unimportant things in order to do important things more frequently.
We learn by default every day anyway. Why not be more selective about what we absorb?
Featured Artwork
I believe if we can share what we have learned along the way, we might be able shed light on the dark edges of the path for others. By Madeline Johnson
-Anne Frank
I keep telling myself, “you can’t do everything, but you can do something.” My issue, is scattered energy. I struggle with staying focused and seeing things through. I start, I stop and I keep bouncing around from one great idea to another. Everything and nothing excites me all at once.
It’s probably why I am reading Michael Singer’s The Untethered Soul for the third time. The only thing I can do is laugh at myself. Such a beautiful mess.
Seeking More Clarity About My Contribution
So, of course I was inspired by Jordan Bach today. Yet another one of you on the world wide web sharing wisdom and inspiration. I am in awe.
Jordan encourages his community to petition God, the Universe, their Higher Power for more clarity about their contribution to the world. What is it that you want me to do with these gifts I am not sure I actually have?
Jordan guides us to believe that only loving thoughts are true. The rest of your fear-based spin outs, that “negative thinking” thing we all do – the “doubting thing” that is simply false and harmful?
We must remember no amount of negativity will serve us well at all.
To Be Such A Beautiful Mess
We are all human, and to be human is a very complex way to be. Most of our lives are messy. Some of us have created a more beautiful mess than others, but a mess just the same.
The question is, as you become more centered and grounded, as you get closer to what your unique contribution looks and feels like – are you going to share your mess or are you going to share your message?
Are you sharing the grace and illumination you have received from the pain you have suffered? This, I believe is a hint, a God wink, to where your contribution might reside.
I believe if we can share what we have learned along the way, we might be able shed light on the dark edges of the path for others.
Inspiration
Wisdom of the Oracle cards
Featured Artist
Such a refreshing thought – to actually meet someone who is genuinely real and speaking the truth. Now that is some rare shit.
Sometimes the very people we are closest to become unreal to us. We might easily assume we know what life is like for them and forget that, like us, they are always changing, their experience is always new. We lose sight of how fully they too are living with hurts and fears, how hard life can be on the inside. – excerpt from Radical Acceptance
Now I’ve been accused of being too tough on my family. My tone too harsh . . . .coming in too hot. . . way too aggressive, they cry. I’m not soft enough, gentle enough, kind enough. I don’t give them enough room to be human.
I have also been described by my family as angry, enraged, and demanding and someone who can never be pleased. This in turn has made me a lightening rod for blame.
It’s a terribly messy situation and it has also alienated me quite a bit.
I had to ask myself, am I really that emotionally insensitive? or . . . .am I perhaps emotionally exhausted, with very little patience to have the “tell me what I want to hear conversations“. You know how they go. The one you where you are trying to give some good sensible advice and it sucks all of your time and energy. . .and the troubled one cries, moans and complains and then goes on to make even bigger, unavoidable mistakes.
Now having a mentally-ill ex who uses the children as weapons does nothing to elevate the family dynamics one bit. He is sick, he is weak and the weak grasp onto anything they can to stay afloat. It’s truly painful and pitiful and annoying as hell.
Growing up with a bullet-proof, hard-headed immigrant family I have been trained to do one thing and one thing only. When we have a problem we fix it. Simple as that. No added drama and delusional ego defense tactics. We simply make the repairs. . . . we change our behavior, our environment, our thinking, whatever it is we need to do, including removing ourselves from the messes left behind.
I was taught to humbly take complete ownership for myself, my life and my actions.
Yet I do believe it is okay to ruminate for a solution and to sometimes overthink things – -but it’s not okay to go around thinking badly or poorly. The world is not out to get us. The real problem is you, it is very, very rarely what happens to you.
This lack of desire to sit with another and hold space for them for a very long time, when they do nothing to face their challenges – is the issue.
You see when I think about their complaints about me, I realize its not just my tone that they don’t like. It’s how they interpret the tone. When I am firm, they hear “you’re not good enough, you’re a mess, you are just terrible and you really don’t have it together” and there in lies the suffering – the sever in the relationship.
Stuck, it’s my lack of desire and willingness to placate them. To sit with their suffering. To buy into their woe is me helplessness.
For this I have been pegged as emotionally unaware, arrested in my growth and a non-compassionate person. Which is the farthest thing from the truth. I am wildly compassionate and loving but also a huge fan of the being absolutely honest with ourselves.
So, I do two things at once. I call bullshit on their desire to expect me to sit and stir the pot of sadness and sorrow that they decided to make for dinner and eat for left overs.
But, more importantly, I apply a bit of compassion to their pain and suffering by asking myself two questions before we begin –
These two questions help bring us closer together as humans.
Habits are what we do every day. Habits can help us grow or hold us back. Some habits are more important than others — they have the power to transform our lives.
Keystone habits lead to the development of multiple good habits. They start a chain effect in your life that produce a number of positive outcomes.
Getting enough restful sleep every night is a keystone habit. It will help you face the next day with energy, help you be more productive and think more clearly.
Exercising everyday is a keystone habit. Walking and working out will give you strength, keep off unhealthy pounds and boost serotonin to the brain, a chemical that will keep you serene.
Saving some money for the future is a keystone habit. Socking away a few bucks will keep each week will have you feeling more secure about that unpredictable rainy day ahead.
Read more about keystone habits in The Power of Habit.
Chances are if you are reading this, you are to some degree stressed out. Focusing on managing our emotions while nurturing a peaceful mind is imperative to navigating the chaos of every day living.
The Multitude of Benefits that Come from Keeping Calm
Know that things are bound to go wrong today. They just are. Ain’t no getting around it. Someone will piss you off, drive you crazy, make you angry, but on the other hand, something good will happen today too. Guaranteed. Life is peppered with a bit of both.
Redefine what stress means to you. A dropped cell call? A cracked laptop screen? The wrong dressing on your salad? What does life-threatening stress look like to you? Define what a real threat looks like. Categorize what constitutes a real problem before you get hit with one. Everything else is easy.
Slow your speech and your gait. Seriously. Walk like a old wise spirit. No rushing, just simple, confident steps with your posture strong and your head held up high. Or sit still. Unless the house is burning down or someone is bleeding out, don’t react. Process the pain in the moment and then decide how you will react.
Put your hand on your heart. Close your eyes. Breathe deeply. Remember what really matters. Remember how short life really is. Ask yourself, what is most important to you right now?
Smell your way to serenity. Use calming oils throughout the day. Inhale lavender, rosemary or geranium before you send that scathing email or make that frustrating phone call. Keep an oil by your desk or burn a soy-based scented candle in your home or office.
Take calming action. Take care of what is in your control. Don’t hesitate. Get what you can get done. Don’t know what to do first? Make a priority list and check it off. Realize that life is 10% what happens and 90% how you react to it.
Clear all the clutter from your life. Your home, your desk, your relationships. If it isn’t serving you well, get rid of it. If you are going through a crisis, keep everything in your life really, really simple.
Carve out moments of joyful time. Hack your happy chemicals. Slip away for a while, get lost in a book, go for a walk, ride your bike, safeguard your sanity.If you are in the midst of a long-standing stressful situation, like caregiving for the terminally ill, making your way through a divorce, trying to find your next job, take a moment to do what you enjoy. Lower your level of cortisol by doing something that makes you happy.
Ask yourself what is good about this? Even though this horrible thing is happening right now, what is good about it? Perhaps it is a problem that finally came to a head? Maybe it will finally move you in a new direction that you knew you were suppose to go? Perhaps this problem offers you an opportunity to try something new?
Slow down on the consumption of everything. This includes drugs, alcohol, food and caffeine. Purposefully chew more slowly. Talk more slowly. Walk more slowly. Slow down to a very soft and gentle pace. Rushing to nowhere will bring no good effect.
Watch a sad, sad movie and cry really fucking hard. Cry until your eyes sting with pain. A list of heartbreaking movies to get you going here.
Realize how short life really is. Check out the internet’s friendly reminder of how long you are going to live, aka the Death Clock.
Give up your mind. Listen to a guided meditation. Author of Radical Acceptance and mindful meditator, Tara Brach offers a free podcast.
Play with puppies or watch puppies. Check out these live puppy cams.
and. . .
For more powerful tips on how to remain calm throughout the day, check out this article on LifeHacker and this one on Forbes.
Credit for today’s Illustrations and Ocean inside me
I’m grateful for another chance. The opportunity to start from scratch. An opportunity to improve my attitude and behavior. This day is fresh, clean, unworn with emotional stains.
Nothing carried over from yesterday, just this rare and beautiful day, made up of many moments ahead, today is a day in my life, not my entire life. How will I use it?
What I choose to think about today will make me and much around me, better or worse, it is up to me.
Today is a chance to break my bad patterns of behavior.
An opportunity to control my short temper, release my self-pity and remove envy of others.
I can help those right in front of me that need my help.
I am given this day as an opportunity to finish projects and work that has been nagging to be done.
Perhaps I will start something new that I’ve been wanting to try.
Maybe I’ll apologize, sympathize, empathize with others.
What are your grateful for right now? How will you use this day?
I love listening in between the lines. Especially to smart people. People like performance coach, Tony Robbins. Evan Carmichael edited an all day Tony coach session that you can watch here. I am watching about ten minutes a day every morning and taking copious notes.
Inspired by Tony’s tenacious approach, I created this surefire success equation to get anything you want. Anything. A raise at work, a new startup business off the ground, shed the last ten pounds, you name it. Anything you want.
What type of mindset does it take to win? To outperform and produce stellar results.
It’s not just practice that produces results. It’s perfect mindful practice. Practice combined with absolute certainty that you will achieve whatever you set out to do. You burn the boats.
Tip Sheet for #6
Absolute certainty that makes you tap into your full potential that has you take massive action which in turn produces remarkable results that reinforces your belief in your absolute certainty.
This is what it takes to get what you want.
And using failure as a tool.
Mindset Tip
Don’t choke at the free throw line. Be absolutely certain in your mind that you know without a doubt that you will achieve the results you want.
Last night I closed my eyes before falling to sleep and made a decision. I want every day to feel more exciting and adventurous.
Or in other words. . . .
A common song sung to a great melody is another way to find beauty. – The Art of Writing, Lu Chi’s Wen Fu.
So, today showed up again. In all it’s predictable glory. The same usual sunrise, just slightly different.
Another clean and clear slate of a day to paint on. To set things right, to improve and to create a new. Another breath, another moment proceeding another moment. This day was made for adventuring.
Today I have made a decision to expect more from myself and more from this day.
Every moment today will be held accountable to demonstrate the wisdom I need right now.
I will look for evidence that the people around me really do care.
I become more conscious of the choices I make today.
This process begins with turning worry into wonder. Anxiety into action.
My improved life comes from making conscious choices while making a commitment to change the way I see the ordinary wonders of the world.
How to Make An Ordinary Day an Adventure
Ask a stranger a question.
Don’t plan out every minute. Leave a little room for spontaneity.
Travel home on a different route tonight.
Call someone you haven’t spoken to in a while.
Experiment. Create something. Anything. Get into maker mode.
