Analysis paralysis or paralysis by analysis is the state of over-analyzing (or over-thinking) a situation so that a decision or action is never taken, in effect paralyzing the outcome.
What if I make the wrong one?
Alice asked the Cheshire Cat, who was sitting in a tree, “What road do I take?”
The cat asked, “Where do you want to go?”
“I don’t know,” Alice answered.
“Then,” said the cat, “it really doesn’t matter, does it?
– Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland
The phenomenon of overchoice occurs when many equivalent choices are available. Examples of overchoice include college options, career options, and prospective romantic relationships. Many increased by technology. In today’s world, we have easy access to more of everything at our fingertips.
Overcoming That Overwhelming Feeling
It helps to remember your final destination. Where have you set your sites? Your goals?
Recalling your dreams helps to distinguish between an opportunity to be seized and a temptation to be resisted.
“If you haven’t the strength to impose your own terms upon life, then you must accept the terms it offers you.”
Featured image by Remedios
Girl with Binoculars by Bernie Fuchs
A wise person remains centered enough to let go every time their energy shifts into defense mode.
It doesn’t matter what others do unless you decide it matters to you.
There will always be something to disturb you.
Relax, release and let go
- Wasting energy on worry
- Ruminating over past problems
- Concerning myself with anything that doesn’t upgrade my life
- Buying into short gain temptations
- An obsession with planning over doing what needs to be done (no to procrastination)
- Repetitive behavior that doesn’t serve me well
- Lowering my standards
- Fretting about the future
Don’t be hanging with no jank ass jokers that don’t help you shine. – Will Smith
Having had my fair share of stressful and painful experiences, I am intrigued by studies that explain how negative emotions manifest as physical pain in our bodies. I am specifically interested in the role of stress and the condition of our heart because even though our heart governs most of our decision making, we truly take for granted one of the most magnificent masterpieces of creation.
A New Type of Heart Attack in this article from Harvard’s Heart Health Newsletter.
Most heart attacks are due to coronary arteries being blocked by blood clots that form when plaques of cholesterol rupture. The lack of blood flow through the blocked arteries results in heart muscle dying — hence the name “heart attack.”
But over the past few years, physicians have come to recognize and better understand another form of heart attack. This unusual type of heart attack does not involve rupturing plaques or blocked blood vessels. It is called takotsubo cardiomyopathy, or stress cardiomyopathy. Japanese doctors, who were the first to describe this condition, named it “takotsubo” because during this disorder, the heart takes on a distinctive shape that resembles a Japanese pot used to trap an octopus. The disorder was commonly believed to be caused by sudden emotional stress, such as the death of a child, and to be far less harmful than a typical heart attack. For that reason, some had also labeled this condition “broken-heart syndrome.”
Purifying Your Heart
In the yogic tradition, so-called heart blockages are caused by unfinished and unprocessed emotions. They call this energy, Samskara, which in Sanskrit means “impression”. You know, the things that make either a good impression or bad on us that we can’t seem to get “over” – those things that cause our mind to ruminate on horrible or remarkable experiences that have happened to us. The heart and mind playing an important role in making us feel inspired and loving or apathetic and victimized.
Our heart is an instrument made of extremely subtle energy that few of us come to really appreciate. The heart’s energy flow (referred to as Shakti, Spirit or Chi) plays a very important part of our lives and experiences.
The heart controls our energy by closing and opening. For example, you can experience great feelings of love for someone until they say something negative towards you. Vascilating between open-hearted and closed. For deeper reading on The Secrets of The Spiritual Heart, a chapter of the book I have now read five times, I recommend The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer.
So science is also demonstrating that volatile emotions like anger and hostility are bad for heart health. But studies have shown that some of the quieter emotions can be just as toxic and damaging.
“Study after study has shown that people who feel lonely, depressed, and isolated are many times more likely to get sick and die prematurely – not only of heart disease but from virtually all causes – than those who have a sense of connection, love and community,” Dean Ornish, MD, tells WebMD.
Author Michael Singer explains that we have spent a lifetime of storing up unresolved conflicts which can lead to a heart that is shut down and closed for business. But all is not lost. We have a choice.
We can simply allow the experiences of life, whatever we label as good and/or bad — from falling madly in love to experiencing the death of a loved one — yes, just simply allow those experiences to move right through us.
Will they be joyful and painful experiences? Yes. But the clinging and resisting and wrestling you do with these emotions will no longer distract you from living fully in the moment with an open mind and heart.
The eyes are useless when the mind is blind.
Art by Turkish artist and graphic designer Aykut Aydogdu, based in Istanbul.
The indomitable will of our soul burns on even during the downward spiral of our destiny.
Artwork by Peter Beard.
He married a supermodel, photographed rock stars and came from a wealthy family. Easy on the eyes too.
Peter Hill Beard is an American artist, photographer, diarist and writer who lives and works in New York City and Kenya. His photographs of Africa, African animals and the journals that often integrate his photographs have been widely shown and published since the 1960s.
No. 1 Don’t deceive yourself. See things as they are, not how you wish they would be. As hard as this is, it’s gravely important, less you desire to be repeating “why didn’t I see that coming?” So often we ignore the truth for the lies we prefer.
“As we learn to recognize and understand the body’s subtle sensations, and then act on them, our self-trust will grow tremendously. To me it is rather amazing that the body has this innate sense of the truth, as if the body is hardwired for it,” states psychotherapist John Prendergast Ph.D.
Read more here @thoughtcatalog
Acts of Love are valid only if they are performed without conditions or expectations.
It starts with honoring and remembering the sacredness that lives within all of us.
They say you are drawn to what you value. What you think is really important in life. Your values lead you to the types of friends you associate with, the places you visit, the work you enjoy, who you fall in love with, what you do in your free time and all the other incredible things you do here on this big, crazy, beautiful planet.
We don’t talk about the importance of having good values in school. We should, but we don’t. Not yet anyway.
I am thinking about my values a lot lately. What I use to value (having a lot of fun, making a lot of money, looking a certain way, etc) and what my values look like now. My values are changing quickly. The more I grow, the more my values change.
The type of personality traits I now value. For me and for you.
1. Optimistic warmth (genuine kindness, thoughtfulness, and a sense that the glass is always at least half full);
2. Intelligence (not just “smarts” but rather an insatiable curiosity to learn for the sake of learning);
3. Work ethic (a natural tendency to do something as well as it can possibly be done);
4. Empathy (an awareness of, care for, and connection to how others feel and how your actions make others feel);
5. Self-awareness (an understanding of what makes you tick
6. Integrity (a natural inclination to be accountable for doing the right thing with honesty and superb judgment).
This trait list inspired by this article about what Danny Meyer’s says to look for when hiring the right people.
Act II: Living a More Deliberate and Intentional Life
Anytime I see anyone from high school whether in real life or on social media, they say they remember me as this carefree, fun loving girl with tons of energy.
While the life of the party might have served me well for all thing things that high school is about – partying, socializing and basically having a great time (at least that was my experience), those same traits led me down some very challenging and difficult paths.
Because I didn’t know who I was or what I wanted. I lived so “in the moment” that I never really stopped to seriously consider what I wanted to do with my life. So, I didn’t make any real decisions for myself. I just let things happen. I just did whatever anyone else was doing. If it looked good and sounded like fun, I did it. -Like going to the same college as my best friend – why not? Choosing a career that allowed me to speak in front of many, many people and express my point of view. Of course. Eloping with the guy I met on the train –well okay? Having four children in the span of six years, because, well, who was thinking, planning or considering the responsibilities involved in raising four beautiful humans?
Now, on the flip side, I have a very strong ability to keep on keeping on. Most likely a choice-supportive bias with a bit of ambiguity effect in place here. Resilient, persistent and stubborn to the point of stupidity, I made it through and by society’s standards with a decent amount of success.
I built the career, raised the children, made the money, bought the house, went on the vacations and somehow even seemed to survive the roller coaster ride of being married and divorced to a bipolar manic depressive who was non-compliant with his medication and irrationally obsessed with traveling the country tripping his balls off while following the Grateful Dead.
You see I made choices without really knowing myself and stuck to my cognitive biases and compromised so much of myself. It’s not like I feared anything, but more like I just kept going, without ever questioning. I was determined to starve before I was hungry.
Until now. Now I can be anywhere I want, doing anything I damn well feel. Which begs the question.
What does a life filled with intention look like for me?
You see, the way I look at it – if I got this far not knowing what the hell I wanted, well can you just imagine when I do?
I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.
Henry David Thoreau.
Beautiful image of the woman with the dove coming out of her face.
Here’s a thought.
We can completely avoid being “blindsided” by problems. Problems leave clues way before they become dilemmas.
Problems present themselves first as small annoyances. The things that are bugging you that are tiny enough to just brush off and not big enough to make you care.
There are so many clues right in front of our eyes but we may not want to look at them because, well, they can lead to an even more frightening thought. The future.
I hate it when I notice a minuscule pesky problem and I say “oh, it will be okay.” Yeah, no it won’t. Grab it by the ass.
Sure I, on occasion, have just wanted to things to be okay, even if they weren’t. I even said to myself, as shit was going down, it’s okay. Sometimes I surrounded myself with people who loved to stay in the bubble of “okayness” rather than face the problem head-on. I don’t anymore.
It’s called living in denial.
We have immense power to cause both positive and negative outcomes in our lives. It starts by waking up to the truth. Small problems today grow into sucky stressful tomorrows. Address the problems now and save yourself the stress.
Surreal images by Eugenia Loli
Three things I am working on right now.
Question: What does my soul say today?
My soul doesn’t speak in thoughts. No, not at all. These thoughts that clutter my mind are just residual pain left over from the things I haven’t let go of yet. Thoughts of conflicts yet resolved.
My soul speaks in feelings, emotions, images, sounds, clues.
My soul speaks to me when I feel deep sadness, frustration, anger, contentment and happiness.
I can feel, see, taste, touch and listen to my soul when my mind is silent.
That’s why I meditate.
Weeding my mind garden so there is more room for a soul orchestra.
Good feelings can’t grow from grudges. Pure thoughts don’t come from residual pain.
These are the feelings from stories feared.
Letting these thoughts drift on by, help me weed my mind garden and clear the soil for a more softer, gentler and more compassionate state of being.
Recovering from the violent ways in which we communicate.
Judging, blaming, demanding, critiquing, name-calling.
Talk about your karma baby.
Softer thoughts lead to kinder words. Seeking more non-violent ways to communicate.