Why We Fail to Become Our Best

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awareness / Creating Habits / deliberate practice / empathy / how to be / how to live / life advice / mental training / mindfulness / performance
delusion

Doubts don’t kill dreams, delusional thoughts do. Our half-beliefs and uncertain thoughts are trying to tell us something very important and it is our responsibility to listen up and act.

Negative mind chatter

These annoying worries that wake us up early and keep us from moving forward, hold the power to help us grow and become stronger.

While most of us tend to drown out the worry, anxiety and concern, I am interested in finding out what happens when instead of tuning out self-doubt, I give it an ear. What is my self doubt trying to tell me?

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Listening and questioning about my worry and ruminating thoughts of . . .

Guilt.

Do I have my priorities straight? Am I doing what is most important to me? What is best for all? What have I been ignoring? What should I take care of now?

Dissapointment.

How have I let others down? Am I treating others and myself in a caring and endearing way? What have I neglected to do?

Irrelevancy.
Am I continuing to keep up with my skills? Will my work actually effect the lives of others?  Will it make an impact? If not, what might I do instead?
Inadequacy. 
Am I practicing what I preach? Am I as loving, patient and compassionate as I could be?
Undeservingness.
What am I not doing enough of? How can I bring more value? How can I contribute more? Where am I needed?

Self-doubt reminds us that we have work to do. It nags at us -we need to improve.

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It tells us that we are not finished, that we can and we should try to become more . . .thoughtful. . . honest, intelligent. . .loving, patient, wise. . .compassionate, empathetic. .

The uncertainty and apprehension of self-doubt, the emotions that ride along, that keep us fearful and manifest into worry and anxiety can really improve us. If we listen and take action.

These feelings don’t have to drown us and we don’t have to drown them.

drowning

Yet and while we are at it, we must hold on to some confidence. Anxiety and worry should push us to power on, to move forward and to hone our skills, better our behavior and become an improved version of our former selves. Not break us down.

BUT. . .

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First things first, we must cease and desist the ongoing self-delusion.

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isahia

 

“you think I’m crazy,” she said.

“no,” he said, “you’re not crazy enough”

 

Few people nowadays know what man is. Many sense this ignorance and die the more easily because of it . . . I do not consider myself less ignorant than most people . . . I have been and still am a seeker, but I have ceased to question stars and books; I have begun to listen to the teachings my blood whispers to me. My story is not a pleasant one; it is neither sweet nor harmonious as invented stories are; it has the taste of nonsense and chaos, of madness and dreams like the lives of all men who stop deceiving themselves. (Hesse 105)

Hesse, Herman. Siddartha, Demian, and other Writings. Ed. Egon Schwarz. New York: Continuum, 1992.

lies-deception

I am deceiving myself every time I . . .

  • underestimate the amount of time it takes to do something.
  • continue on with conflicting behavior that does not align itself with my ideals.
  • set goals that I don’t yet have the tools, skills or talent to reach.
  • think I got my point across, when I believe I made myself understood but the other person did not listen- did I use the right words, the best tone, how can I command more respect, get others to really listen?
  • tell myself that was my very best – I gave it my all. Push on.
  • blow things out of proportion – thinking that problems are bigger than they really are.
  • make excuses for bad behavior -lashing out, behaving poorly or treating others in a way I would never wish to be treated.
  • tell myself something is going to be easier than it actually is.
  • have an idea, that I think it’s a great idea, even though I haven’t tested it.

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Those who are slow to confess their errors are busy constructing lies to conceal them. – Unknown.

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Sometimes we must detach as we question.
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detach
& remain cautiously optimistic, which is fostered as . . .
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. . .a feeling of general confidence regarding a situation and/or its outcome coupled with a readiness for possible difficulties or failure.

Directions for listening and acting on self-doubt and delusion.

Take inventory. List what must be done and then take deliberate action. Self doubt will dissipate and melt away with each attempt you make, measure you take, routine you practice, habit you build. . .  the stronger you will feel, the more confident you become. Taking action to improve your behavior will soothe away the worry and concern.
Remember it is thoughtful and deliberate action . . .
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continue on with dedicated practice . . .
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Featured image 

Apparition of Face and Fruit Dish on a Beach, 1938 by Salvador Dali

Surefire Success: How to Get What You Want

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free-throw

I love listening in between the lines. Especially to smart people. People like performance coach, Tony Robbins. Evan Carmichael edited an all day Tony coach session that you can watch here.  I am watching about ten minutes a day every morning and taking copious notes.

Inspired by Tony’s tenacious approach, I created this surefire success equation to get anything you want. Anything. A raise at work, a new startup business off the ground, shed the last ten pounds, you name it. Anything you want.

  1. Know what you want and believe you can have it.
  2. Know what it takes to get what you want. If you don’t know, find out. Ask the people who have what you want what it took to get it. What did they have to do to achieve the results. How long did it take? How much work did they do each day? 
  3. Ask yourself the question, what is absolutely certain, 100% necessary, in order for me to get what I want. What must I do in order to get the results I want.
  4. Make the list of what you absolutely must do and get to work.
  5. Do the work. Do it daily. Check off the list. And then review your results. Be sure you are getting closer to getting what you want. If you are not getting results, get REAL with yourself. What are you not doing? What are you doing wrong? Where do you need help? New skills? 
  6. Ask yourself, can I do any of these tasks, the actual work, better. Not faster, not quicker, but better. Are there any tools to help me perform the work better? Any professionals out there who can coach you? If there are, then find the tools, find the people. Use the tools. Hire the people.
  7. When you do get what you want, appreciate it. Be grateful for the work it took to get there.

What type of mindset does it take to win? To outperform and produce stellar results.

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It’s not just practice that produces results. It’s perfect mindful practice. Practice combined with absolute certainty that you will achieve whatever you set out to do. You burn the boats.

Tip Sheet for #6

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Absolute certainty that makes you tap into your full potential that has you take massive action which in turn produces remarkable results that reinforces your belief in your absolute certainty.

This is what it takes to get what you want.

And using failure as a tool.

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Mindset Tip

Don’t choke at the free throw line. Be absolutely certain in your mind that you know without a doubt that you will achieve the results you want.

 

What Moves You Forward?

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I wonder why you do what you do. What drives you through your day?

Why I do what I do.

Why do I desire deeper connections with people I love and admire? Because life would seem vacuous with anything less.

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It is important for me to feel connected, relevant, needed and valuable.

Why am I  driven to understand where the world is headed? Because standing in the dark seems like such a frightening place to hide.

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It seems to me that learning, knowing and growing gives me a feeling  of security. It frees up my time to focus on my why(s).

Why do I attempt to live a life of daily adventure, filled with no regrets? Because it feels like something that would be great to bring to the grave. I don’t want to waste this precious gift.

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Knowing the truth about everything around me brings clarity and an easier way to navigate through the twisted turns.

Focusing on what is most important and essential to being human feels like a good way to grow. It’s enlightening.

Living to my full potential and co-creating with the universe and God together as one, seems like a way to live a life filled with higher purpose.

 

 

Life Hacking Your Rookie Mistakes

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awareness / beginners mind / career / daily rituals / how to be / how to live / life advice / Living Intentionally
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Six strategies to help you avoid making rookie mistakes in all aspects of your life.

Pre-promoting what you are going to do. Setting expectations too high.

Strategy. Stay hush. Keep it chill. Launch slowly. Surprise and delight. Be subtle.

Giving into the temptation of being the flavor of the week.

Strategy. Know your essence and stick to it. 

Calling yourself an expert.

Strategy. Know how to hit the headwinds. There is a fine line between saying who you are and being arrogant about it. Aim to serve humbly.

Being lost self-imposed anxiety. Self-absorbed.

Strategy. Examine your true intentions. Are you driven by selfish needs and desires? Or are you asking yourself, how can I add more value to this moment? Choose service over greed. 

Becoming overly distracted by every new shiny object.

Strategy. Stay focused on your what is important and what you are going to accomplish to win.

Taking too many aggressive shortcuts, life hacks.

Strategy. Some things were made to simmer. Long lasting change is a daily habit.

 

This Day Was Made for Adventure

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adventures / appreciation / awareness / beginners mind / daily rituals / how to be / life / Living with purpose / transformation
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Last night I closed my eyes before falling to sleep and made a decision. I want every day to feel more exciting and adventurous.

 

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Or in other words. . . .

A common song sung to a great melody is another way to find beauty.The Art of Writing, Lu Chi’s Wen Fu.

So, today showed up again. In all it’s predictable glory. The same usual sunrise, just slightly different.

Another clean and clear slate of a day to paint on. To set things right, to improve and to create a new. Another breath, another moment proceeding another moment. This day was made for adventuring.

Today I have made a decision to expect more from myself and more from this day.

Every moment today will be held accountable to demonstrate the wisdom I need right now.

I will look for evidence that the people around me really do care.

I become more conscious of the choices I make today.

This process begins with turning worry into wonder. Anxiety into action.

My improved life comes from making conscious choices while making a commitment to change the way I see the ordinary wonders of the world.

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How to Make An Ordinary Day an Adventure

Ask a stranger a question.

Don’t plan out every minute. Leave a little room for spontaneity.

Travel home on a different route tonight.

Call someone you haven’t spoken to in a while.

Experiment. Create something. Anything. Get into maker mode.

As We Are, So It Is

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optical1

5887-Ana-s-Nin-Quote-We-don-t-see-things-as-they-are-we-see-them-as-we

Our perception builds and constructs our reality; which in turn becomes our life. With the help of our good, bad and indifferent judgements, our choice of language, our cognitive biases, past experiences and memories, we  assemble how we choose to see the world. All of these inferences paint the way we experience our lives and effect the lives of those closest to us.

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What we see is one thing, what we perceive is a completely different matter. Our reality is a co-production. Everything is a projection of what we hold inside our mind. So, I wonder, what if everything we see is really our very own optical illusion?  Everything in a way, our own private hell hall of hallucinations.

Like this beautiful parrot. . .

 

parrot

That’s really a woman painted to look like a parrot.

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What if we could change the way we see everything, to see more clearly, to expand our mind and in turn our world?   What can we bring to this next moment, day, week, year so that we may live a life filled with more purpose and meaning?

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Instead of allowing our brains to create a haphazard existence based on our misconceptions and judgements. . .

What if we played a more active role in the process of creating our lives?

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Perhaps we begin with examining some of our cognitive biases. A cognitive bias is a systematic error in thinking that affects the decisions and judgments that people make.

Cognitive Biases can screw up our thinking and decision making.

cognitive bias

I am curious, which cognitive biases do you relate to?

 

Side note: a fascinating look at some of the most impressive optical illusions.

Featured photography by Laura Williams

On Self-Renovation & Expanded Versions of Ourselves

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awareness / book quotes / books to read / deliberate practice / enlightenment / inspiration / life advice / lifelong learning / mindfulness / Ralph Waldo Emerson
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According to one of my favorite thinkers, change must happen individually, before it can happen on a grander collective scale. Oh to be the change we want to see in the world.

. . .society gains nothing whilst a man, not himself renovated, attempts to renovate things around him.Ralph Waldo Emerson, Essay on New England Reformers

only

Our ability to really influence our reality around us first calls for purposeful self-transformation. Renovating the way we think.

. . .for the inmost in due time becomes the outmost. . .

It starts by being brutally honest with ourselves and realizing there is no need for any of this thinking, if we don’t have each other.  Sure we could live like hermits. . . or

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understand that we need and belong to one another, love says – we are not our own.

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To be a greater, more expanded version of ourselves.

Note to self, read this bookDiamond Minds

I think the hardest part, the most difficult, is letting go of our ego. First we must know what should be changed, the thoughts that lead to unwanted emotions of anger and pain. Things that can get in the way of real progress. We might study ourselves and thought by thought, we must address the behavior we want to change.

It’s difficult to acknowledge the pain.  To take responsibility for the problems we cause in our lives. The hurtful things we say, the anger and lashing rage, the shut down of communication. The selfishness and greed.

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Self-awareness can be very difficult for this reason. Our ego does not want us to acknowledge our own faults.

Here are some signs that your ego is in control (inspired from Simple Life Strategies)

1. You get a cheap thrill from gossiping about other people’s problems.

2. You have a power surge to the brain after winning an argument. You just knew you were so right about that.

3. You compare yourself to others who you feel are better or worse off than you. This takes the focus off of you. An easy way out.

4. How dare he, she, they treat you that way? Haters are just going to hate. No, not really. Sometimes it’s just not you.

5. You feel a tinge of jealousy when you see other people having a real good time. Especially on Instagram and Facebook.

6. You go on and on about yourself before addressing anyone else in the room.

7. You’d rather look great than try harder next time.

8. You’re often upset when your not recognized at work. We’re not in pre-school anymore people.

9. You create impossible goals and then beat yourself up when you don’t reach them. This is where I live.

10. You blame others when things fall apart in your life.

Self-awareness starts by admitting our mistakes, looking at our behavior, taking responsibility for our actions.

So I begin by acknowledging my part in all of this.

For not knowing or understanding ourselves is like grabbing the tail to direct the head of a dragon. First we most know.

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Next on my reading list

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The Ego is the Enemy, by Ryan Holiday

 

 

On Thinking Clearly & Writing More Nobly

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monkeymind

The Goal: A Completely Transparent & Unclouded Mind

I am not an online shopper. I don’t buy much stuff at all. But this week I’m anxiously checking my mailbox daily. I’ll try (almost) anything to tame my unsettled and restless monkey mind.

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What did I order, you ask? A brain boosting mushroom (minus the visuals ) coffee with lion’s mane (supposedly good for memory and in a category of safe, smart drugs or nootropics) as well as chaga and Rhodiola which was used by the vikings to calm the nervous system while enhancing immunity from Four Sigmatic.

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I am also creating my own filters so I can focus on. . .

Paying Attention to What Matters Most

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As I listen to Jason Silva at The Sydney Opera House explore the exponential growth of technology and how it is shaping our personalities, I realize how much a wealth of information creates a poverty of attention.  In a world of abundance, the only scarcity is human attention. Recommended reading: from Kevin Kelly The Inevitable, Understanding the Twelve Technological Forces that Will Shape Our Future.

How Time Totally Trumps Money

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With all there is to be distracted by. . .hell, time moves oh too quickly.

So as I focus on what to study, read, learn and create, I tell myself, I can always make more money, but I can’t create more time.

Listen to How to Waste Money to Improve the Quality of Your Life

 

On Writing More Clearly & Nobly

fu

Studying Lu Chi’s Wen Fu: The Art of Writing

From Catalogue of Genres

A body of writing may take any of a thousand forms,

and there is no one right way to measure.

One whose language remains muddled cannot do it;

only when held in a clear mind can the language become noble.

A New Definition of a Billionaire (No.6)

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awareness / book quotes / books to read / Creating Habits / daily rituals / enlightenment / focus / Greatness / how to live / inspiration / life hack / Life Hacks / Living Intentionally / mental training / mindfulness / self mastery
spark

True transformation, real personal change, can come from a spark of inspiration or devastating disruption. When you have been so turned on that your Hell Yes becomes your mantra for mind-blowing transformation or when you have dug yourself into such a deep hole that there is no way out but a mandatory intervention of

something has to f😎king change.

That moment that transforms your mind and ignites your soul can be fueled when you follow through with relentless daily discipline and commitment.

Are you ready?

On Being Comfortably Uncomfortable

In order to evolve we must have a deep, deep, deep desire to make the transformation true and we must be committed to doing things differently than we have done before. The danger lies in falling into daily ruts and remaining stifled by how we feel.

We can get comfortably uncomfortable with the false security of rituals and habits that do not serve us well in the long game of life. We trade out comfort for the moment, doing what feels natural and safe, for what might makes us healthier and stronger in the future. It’s the sacrifices and compromises that we don’t want to do now for a stronger and more fulfilled tomorrow.

Boxing Ourselves In

This in turn limits our lives. Boxes us in. We become strangely satisfied with what the day brings and when we stop seeking and searching for improvement we fall into a sleep walking state. A trance that keeps us from improving any further.

Mind-Music

Unraveling our Lives

If you can challenge yourself to become stronger, to feel uncomfortable, to stretch your mind and body, just a little bit every day you can unravel the state you are in.

It begins by waking up, by becoming more aware of the excuses you make for yourself and others, the annoying and recurring problems you have each day. The pain points you drown in another glass of wine or another tasty toke.

Do like those in the program. Clean up your errors. Admit your mistakes. Don’t kid yourself. Apologize and move on.

Facing Frustration

There is something absolutely energizing and almost fun when we begin to agonize over decisions and face our frustrations. Too little money, too much weight, not enough true friends, exhausting tasks at work. There is something empowering that happens to us when we face the frustration and work on each problem one at a time.

Questions

Are you doing the things that are putting you in a position to soar?

Are you preparing yourself for how you will respond when

life destroys your sense of meaning?

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I am currently obsessed with developing a way to bring on an exhilarating neurostorm of enlightenment to the truth and limitless possibilities of this moment and the next.

It is what it isn’t. 

I have zero respect for the status quo, for what is and for what we perceive to be the “truth”, this so-called reality. I  also have distain for the phrase “it is what it is” – so much so, that I banish those that use the phrase from my mind kingdom.

anxiety-and-depression-gemma-correllNo, no, no your reality right now, whatever it may be, is precisely what you have chosen it to be right now. Your reality is what you perceive it to be. Your reality is connected to your attitude and the attitude you have can completely transform whatever situation you are in right now.

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Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

Read: Man’s Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl

Focusing Intently on What You are Becoming

Doing What Feels Natural isn’t Always What’s Best

Sure your habits might feel natural. You might explain your actions as something you just do, but that doesn’t make them good. Trade up your habits in favor of getting rid of what’s “natural” for  you. Eat less sugar, walk a little further, smile a lot more. Raise the stage for something that’s better. Experiment with new ways of naturalness. Upgrade your life.

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Undervaluing & Over Working Yourself to Death

If your frustrated and tired of not making enough money or stressed about how much you give in return for what you get, perhaps it’s time to stop undervaluing and over exerting yourself.

If you were to truly value all the gifts you give to the world, how would your world change? It is one thing to be modest and humble; it is another to have poor , low self-esteem. Do you know the difference?

Sometimes our esteem can be lifted by learning, by becoming more valuable through knowledge to have us become more confident at what we do. Remember, we don’t necessarily get paid for our time, we get paid for the value we bring to the hour.

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Seek, discover and focus on yourself. A winner is someone who recognizes his talents, works his tail off to develop them into skills and uses both to accomplish goals.

Regardless of anything else, always do more than what you get paid for, and do it well. This is not undervaluing. This is doing the right thing and the right thing is always the best thing to do.

Living in Fear

I have a four year degree, but I never paid attention in history class.  It was an online Coursera course with Professor Jeremy Adelman ( Director of the Council for International Teaching and Research at Princeton University) co-author of Worlds Together, Worlds Apart: A History of Humankind from Beginnings to the Present that led to a big realization.

We’ve Always Been at War

At first I as astonished at how violent our world history really was – from Genghis Khan to Adolph Hitler. I have come to accept that we have lived in perilous and troublesome times for thousands and thousands of years. Nothing has changed. There will always be disruption, pain, corruption and manipulation. It is how we deal with the pain of living, how we face our fears and obstacles that makes us who we are.

Read Ryan Holiday’s The Obstacle is the Way

Worried about your job? The stock market? Your 401K? Your worth is directly related to your philosophy, not the economy. What is your philosophy towards life? How can you improve it?

1. Focus on What You Are Becoming

Some of us can survive (for how long?) as an elemental force of chaos with supernatural charisma, sloppy planning and dumb luck. We make decisions driven by emotional reactions, petulance and paranoia and in turn we make a mess of our lives.

If you are stuck, remember your life is very malleable. The best way out of a problem you have right now is to do your best right now.

Make a decision to set goals – what people do you want to meet, books you want to read, places you want to go, experiences you want to have. . .

If you dare to change, everything will change for you. Adopt a new vision as your truth. When mankind decided we would fly, we flew.

Distort your reality field. Imagine you, only different.

Sure we can all use more money, good friends and less worry. For one day, forget about what you need and focus on what you are becoming.

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2. Ask Better Questions

In the age of smartphones, Google and Quora, answers are a dime a dozen and very easy to find.  Forget about the answers. If you want to solve the bigger problems, ask better questions. Start with “What if . . .”

What if I took that online course? What if I said I was sorry? What if I joined the gym?

3. From Emotional Pain to Physical Embodiment

Don’t be so focused on your work that your ignore signals of your body. Especially stomach issues.

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4. Getting into The Flow State

Supercharging your thoughts is a healthier way to stage yourself for altered states of being.

Get out of the every day. Take on new experiences, new places, new spaces, transcend the ordinary. Rest, relax, seek novel experiences and environments. Disconnect and reconnect with your child-like mind. Rediscover the place of wonderment. Get into a state of unbelievable lucidity. Chase experiences that put you in the zone.

Try it. For one day, give everything you’ve got into everything you do.

5. Plus, Minus, Equal

Find three important people in your life. A mentor, a partner and someone to inspire.

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6. New Definition of Billionaire

Become a billionaire. Someone who positively effects the lives of a billion people.

7. Your Mental Diet

Stand guard at the doorway of your mind. Feed your brain delicious food. A few inspiring books, blogs and people I have been consuming this past week.

Jason Silva’s Seeker a dose of knowledge to help you make sense of what is happening in the world around us.

Steve Job’s 10 Rules for Success.

Why it’s important to always stay a student, Ryan Holiday author of The Ego is the Enemy.

Life advice from the mentor to the masters, Jim Rohn

Wait but why? one of my favorite new blogs. Check out this post on building a mental swiss army knife.

The sky is not the limit, but your mind absolutely is.

Where there is an open mind, there will always be a new frontier.

 

 

10 Ways to Really Thrive

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Oscar-Wilde-Self-Improvement-Picture-Quotes

I think to some extent we all want to improve our lives. We all want things to be better. A better career, more money, less weight, more adventures, loving relationships. Right? I don’t know if I have met anyone who doesn’t want some improvement somewhere in their lives. So what’s the problem?

I think what’s difficult is the change that is required to improve. That’s where we get stuck.

It’s really hard to change you, but it’s much easier to change your patterns

Patterns, habits, ruts. Whatever you want to call them, these are the ways in which we typically face the day and approach everything we do. Today’s post is about altering the way we behave to rapidly improve the way we live.

  1. Understanding that the Foundation of Stress is Fear. 

We many not want to admit it, but anything we are stressed about usually stems from fear. Think about it. Stress at work may be the result of fear of losing our jobs. Stress at home may be about fear of speaking our minds and rocking the boat.

Facing our fears and creating safety nets and back up plans will usually help reduce our stress. If you are stressed about your job than perhaps it’s time to update your resume, build your skill set, take on technology. If your relationships have you stressed perhaps it’s time for the talk, therapy, trying something new or changing the way you communicate.

2. Getting Others to Really Listen

So much stress in our relationships can come from not being heard. You can improve your communication skills and ultimately get others to listen to you when you first understand that people aren’t listening to what you have to say, they are listening for what they want to hear. The faster you give them what they want, the quicker you have them. – Nancy Halpern, Leadership Coach

Don’t communicate for the sake of talking. Be more thoughtful and think about who you are talking to and what their fears may be first. Instead of trying to muscle your message down their throat, think about what the other is fearing and the results you want from the message.

Empathy is the current that connects us all.

3. Managing Your Perceptions & Understanding What is Possible

Transforming your life also begins with managing your perceptions. I truly believe we lie to ourselves daily. We think things are so much easier than they really are and that we are so much more effective than we truly are. You cannot live naively in a fantasy world and just believe your way to a better life. Whatever “better” looks like for you – more money, more free time, more peace-of-mind, more friends. Real change begins with understanding what is actually possible.

1. Understand what is possible for you.

 2.Prioritize what you think is truly important to change.

3. Construct how you will go about creating what you want.

And then fiercely, with a plan and with energy, but also with flexibility and an open mind, begin the steps to improve your circumstances.

4. Designing a Life That Works for You. The Step-by-Step Plan

Reality check. Do not deal with the world the way you wish it was, deal with it the way it is right now. In order to design the life you want, you first have to fully accept the way it is right now. Truth is, your situation might be quite bad, but. . .

Although self-doubt can feel very real, it has little bearing on what is or isn’t possible.

Start with what you’ve got. Hold on to your strengths, grab what’s good and build from there.  Reality is your friend and the foundation for success. Inspired by Ryan Holiday, author of The Obstacle is the Way

5. Self-Awareness Leads to Success

Pay damn close attention to the stories you play inside your head. Those scenarios that scare you. That negative self-narrative can be massively destructive (I’m not smart enough, not athletic enough, not strong enough, not liked-enough. . .) or massively empowering (I am a life long learner and a student of life, I build my mental and physical strength daily with practice, I meet life head on and take challenges on the chin and I let kindness lead the way, as I become the friend I want to have.)

Changing Your Story, Changes Your Life

Changing your thoughts, changes your story

Changing your story, changes your behavior

Changing your behavior, changes your relationships

Changing your relationships, changes your life

6. Turning Expectation into Appreciation

Everything at our finger tips. Google this, download that. Plug into this, link to that, tag, search and find.  Everything we need is an instant away. It is no wonder we expect so much with so much available to us. This sets high expectations for getting what we need whenever we want it in an instant. The downside of immediate gratification is that it doesn’t always show up.

Instead of expecting things to always go your way,

start appreciating what you already have. 

7. Raise the Bar on What Suffering Feels Like

Sure it is easy to get frustrated when your website doesn’t load fast enough or you haven’t met sales goals for the day or you had a blow up with your partner. Most of it is all BS, not important and nothing that will ruin your life for good. But in the moment, oh how we can explode.

The only real problems are health problems. Everything else, especially if money can solve it, is not suffering. Aim to suffer less.

8. All Problems need Energy to Live

When you remember what problems are really serious than you just wont give the daily challenges the same amount of energy. All problems big or small need your time and attention to live. I don’t recommend ignoring problems all together, because sometimes left ignored, small problems can turn into big ones. Just keep it in perspective and get into solution. Expect little problems. Keep some time on the calendar each day to put out those little fires before they flare up. Just don’t let them flare you up.

9. Problems are Easier to Solve in a Better State of Mind

When your head heats up and your mood turns to a mild rage because of a problem that’s really just an expected challenge, the best weapon is to slow down. Cool off. Take a few breaths before you start to think. A boiling brain will not build a better way. To be cool and collected is a more elegant way to live.

10. Show Up with All You’ve Got

When we show up with everything we have, we give it our best shot. This is what we have to give the world. To be fully present in a conversation, at our jobs, in our roles. We remain ready, willing and able to serve. To serve is to care and to care is to love.

Love isn’t a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. Love is energy and energy takes effort.

Go ahead. Make the effort.

Inspiration

Ryan Holiday, Author of The Obstacle is the Way interviewed by London Real

The Obstacle is the Way, one of the best self-performance books to date. A must read.

Marie Forleo interviews Tony Robbins about what it takes to have an extraordinary life.

Lessons from Geniuses, Billionaires and Tinkerers with Chris Young