To Regain the Sureness of Your Soulfooting

I regain the steadiness of my soulfooting
When I feel this rapture of being alive.

– from the poem River Ride by Patti Auguste Hallowell

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“Once you start to speak, people will yell at you. They will interrupt you, put you down and suggest it’s personal. And the world won’t end.
And the speaking will get easier and easier. And you will find you have fallen in love with your own vision, which you may never have realized you had. And you will lose some friends and lovers, and realize you don’t miss them. And new ones will find you and cherish you. And you will still flirt and paint your nails, dress up and party, because, as I think Emma Goldman said, “If I can’t dance, I don’t want to be part of your revolution.” And at last you’ll know with surpassing certainty that only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth. And that is not speaking.”

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Beautiful things I love about me.

My childlike enthusiasm and my a joie de vivre.

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My inner Glow with God.

I love my spirit that shines through with contagious and infectious optimism.

I honor my divine intelligence and love and oh how now you can see my soul so clearly.

My soul spark shines and breathes fresh air now.

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Free to be me with every beautiful new human encounter entered with the intention of honesty and love.

The best type of truth is told with thoughtfulness, a touch of tolerance and tenderness.

Silly, stupid human.  We think the truth has to be raw, harsh, angry and loud.  Something to fear, because you can’t handle the truth. No. No. No.

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You can handle the truth.

Truth can be whispered, softly, gently, and directly to the soul of another.

Let the world change you, so you can change the world.

-Motorcycle Diaries 2004

 

 

Featured Art

 

 

Relationship Accountability and Gathering a Tribe of Trusted Friends

Oh she bailed, she got too busy.” “Yeah he just cancelled last minute.” “Yup she never showed.” “No, he’s not going to make it.” My daughters tell me they have had these kind of people in their lives. Oh Lord. Why didn’t I teach them that the world can sometimes be a dirty place?

Which brings up something I have been thinking about. Relationship Accountability.

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I hope this is not happening, but it seems like the standards for relationships have dropped incredibly low. I mean, say hello to your mirage friend (or lover). Your flake friend. They make seemingly concrete plans, genuinely act like they’re thrilled to see you and then, out of nowhere (and usually with very short notice), tell you whoops, they can’t make it. The concept of seeing them IRL is an illusion, and you keep falling for it. So why do you still hold onto them?

I have no idea why you do that. Well, it might have something to do with the fact that most people adapt to whatever environment they find themselves. They have what psychologists call an “external locus of control,” where they believe factors outside of them dictate the direction of their lives.

But what I do know for sure is that it feels like it is time to raise relationship standards for good.

While everyone’s talking about how we need to stay away from the negative ones and let go of the toxic naysayers. Yes, “just release them” they say.  Sure, I get it. I mean . . .

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And’ then there’s just so much  being thrown around social about removing the low vibers, those that are holding you back and keeping you down. All you have to do is pluck them like a random brow in-between waxing appointments and bam you will be much more successful in your life. Sure.

No, I think that is part of it, but then there is the seeking new friends. Finding those that stretch you some.

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Now, I’ve been contemplating this after being gravely disappointed by some people in my life.  Yes I plucked them, but there is still so much to be done.

Now, I wasn’t going to let their ridiculous fuckery and bad behavior hold me back from  gathering a tribe I can trust.  No, their lack of integrity fueled a west coast fire under my ass to find higher quality people.

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So, like many of you, I am on a quest to upgrade my relationship goals. I will choose quality over quantity any day of the week. Of course that led to question what type of friend, person, lover do I need to be in order to attract these so called “quality” people into my life?

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I was ignoring a pushy guy’s text messages. A “friend” who wants more. A friend that  I went out to dinner once. My daughter said I was ghosting.  Now, if you’re not in a relationship, can you ghost someone? Again, I have no idea, but back to the goal of finding people with accurate moral compasses.  The question – just how do I bring the good ones together, the friends that will actually add to my life and visa versa. I mean seriously, where do we find these wonder people? These five-star frienders and lovers?

In Search of Deeper Connections

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I have two really beautiful friends from high school who both had what seemed to be perfectly wonderful marriages. As a matter of fact, from the outside, their relationships looked dreamy. They had everything. No crappy drama, no binge drinking BS, no lying and cheating. . .yeah, none of that. Then, one day out of the blue, the ladies just dumped their men curbside. It was so random. Seriously. Really? When I prompted them with a why?  They said they didn’t feel the “connection” anymore and that they were looking for something deeper.

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Which of course got me thinking about why I wasn’t looking for something “deeper“?

Meaningful relationships. Deeper connections. True friends and lovers. It just sounds so amazing. Why wouldn’t we want them? If we are hell bent on living a more fulfilled life we really need them, but we shouldn’t romanticize them as something they are not. All relationships are messy, complicated at times and if you think about it, relationships require us to work at being thoughtful, kind and considerate. We can’t get lazy if we want to gather a tribe we can trust.

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Come to think of it, I am not so sure how “deep” of a relationship I have ever had with anyone, but that is the point. I am curious about just how deep I can go with another human while trusting and loving as much as openly possible and stretching to be a five star version of me.

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Lovers who eat the world by Mariano Pecciniti

Featured art by the harmlessly crazy Tom Repalsky

Ego Trippers, Smiling Our Way Through Fear & The Life Long Importance of Relationships

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When we remove ego, we’re left with what is real.ReadEgo is the Enemy, Ryan Holiday

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Redefining Our Identities with and without Psychedelics

Ego death, or as Jung called it, “psychic death,” is also called “ego loss.” It signifies the complete loss of subjective identity. In Jungian theory, this precedes a rebirth into a new identity. Timothy Leary coined the term “ego loss” in regard to LSD experiences. Ego death is the second stage In Joseph Campbell’s Hero’s Journey.  Ego death in Buddhism is related to understanding one’s true nature, (not mistaking the rope for the snake), which leads to a permanent awakening from ego fixation (one will never mistake the rope for the snake once it is seen to be a rope).

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Psychotherapy and psychedelics both assist in helping redefine identity. Psychotherapy focuses on ego defenses and issues stemming from identification with the ego and its journey to wholeness, while ayahuasca can loosen the strict boundaries of self-perception and allow other information and perspectives in, introducing a new dimension of healing.

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From Panic to Peace – Smiling Your Way Through Fear

Thich Nhat Hanh calls his practice of yes “smile yoga.” He suggests bringing a slight but real smile to our lips many times throughout the day, whether we are meditating or simply stopping for a red light. “A tiny bud of a smile on your lips,” writes Thich Nhat Hanh, “nourishes awareness and calms you miraculously. . . your smile will bring happiness to you and those around you.”

The power of a smile to open and relax us is confirmed by modern science. The muscles used to make a smile actually send a biochemical message to our nervous system that it is safe to relax the flight, fight or freeze response.  A smile is the yes of unconditional friendliness that welcomes experience without fear.

Smiling can be the trigger that switches us from operating under the power of the sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight) to the parasympathetic nervous system (rest and digest). Our body is designed to be in the state of rest and digest most of the time, but there are too many stressful things in our life to keep our body to stay in the fight or flight mode.

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Why is smiling important? Smiling not only offers a mood boost but helps our bodies release cortisol and endorphins that provide numerous health benefits, including:

  • Reduced blood pressure
  • Increased endurance
  • Reduced pain
  • Reduced stress
  • Strengthened immune system

Read

Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach

 

Good Genes are Nice, But Joy is Better

Robert Waldinger is a Zen priest and leader of the longest-running study of human happiness. He has found that science and Buddhism agree on what makes life happy and meaningful.

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Waldinger is also a clinical professor of psychiatry at Harvard University and director of the famed Harvard Study of Adult Development. It’s perhaps the longest-running study of adult life ever conducted. For seventy-five continuous years, it has tracked the lives of 724 men in order to understand what makes for a healthy, happy life. Now it’s following the next generation, as it tracks the lives of the original subjects’ children and their families.

Harvard study, almost 80 years old, has proved that embracing community helps us live longer, and be happier.

 

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Becoming Supernatural While Navigating a Greater End

Every thought we have is tangible energy with the power to transform. 

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Our purpose in life is not to please God or do the right thing or be perfect or look good.

Our purpose in life is to express divine intelligence through us.

We should look at the wisdom learned from the adversity in our lives to navigate a greater end.  

Dr. Joe Dispenza (Becoming Supernatural)

 

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Fascinated by the mind-body connection (how our thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and attitudes can positively or negatively affect our biological functioning), I am studying the power we have to manipulate a part of our genetic code through emotional states – and other things like nutrition, movement and relationships. What I am studying is something called epigenetics.  Here, is a super brief explanation to help you understand what the field of epigenetics involves.

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But, I prefer this analogy . . .

Think of the human lifespan as a very long movie. The cells would be the actors and actresses, essential units that make up the movie. DNA, in turn, would be the script — instructions for all the participants of the movie to perform their roles. Subsequently, the DNA sequence would be the words on the script, and certain blocks of these words that instruct key actions or events to take place would be the genes. The concept of genetics would be like screenwriting. Follow the analogy so far? Great.

The concept of epigenetics, then, would be like directing. The script can be the same, but the director can choose to eliminate or tweak certain scenes or dialogue, altering the movie for better or worse.

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by James Allen
As a being of Power, Intelligence and Love, and the Master of his or her own Thoughts, every being holds the key to every situation, and contains within themselves that transforming and regenerative agency by which they may make themselves what they will.

 

Reigning in the Wild of My Mind 

I awake each morning with some vague memory of my dreams. The next thing I know, my mind is everywhere and left unattended it races from worries about how I will get everything done today to past memories of arguments, problems and things left undone.

Meditation helps me reign in the wild of my mind and channel my thoughts and energy to bring forth what needs to be remembered.

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We are all just one exhale away . . .

Life is short.

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Give gratitude for the miracle of this fucking moment right now.

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What helps me think better each day?

Some Stealth Metta

The Buddhist Metta (Lovingkindness) Prayer is simple but profound.
It starts by blessing oneself and gradually expands outward from there, eventually wishing good intentions for the entire world and all beings, even our enemies. There are many variations and translations of this prayer, but what follows is the essence of it; if we all said this prayer with sincerity at least once per week, the world could be a very different place . . .
My heart fills with with loving kindness. I love myself.
May I be happy. May I be well. May I be peaceful. May I be free.
May all beings in my vicinity be happy. May they be well.
May they be peaceful. May they be free.
May all beings in my city be happy. May they be well.
May they be peaceful. May they be free.
May all beings in my state be happy. May they be well.
May they be peaceful. May they be free.
May all beings in my country be happy. May they be well.
May they be peaceful. May they be free.
May all beings on my continent be happy. May they be well.
May they be peaceful. May they be free.
May all beings in my hemisphere be happy. May they be well.
May they be peaceful. May they be free.
May all beings on planet Earth be happy. May they be well.
May they be peaceful. May they be free.
May my parents be happy. May they be well.
May they be peaceful. May they be free.
May all my friends be happy. May they be well.
May they be peaceful.
May they be free.
May all my enemies be happy. May they be well.
May they be peaceful. May they be free.
May all beings in the Universe be happy. May they be well.
May they be peaceful. May they be free.
If I have hurt anyone, knowingly or unknowingly in thought, word or deed,
I ask for their forgiveness.
If anyone has hurt me, knowingly or unknowingly in thought, word or deed,
I extend my forgiveness.
May all beings everywhere, whether near or far,
whether known to me or unknown, be happy.
May they be well. May they be peaceful. May they be free.

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Featured artwork by David Wallace

Riding Shotgun in The Sky

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Well, I came upon a child of God
He was walking along the road
And I asked him, Tell me, where are you going
This he told me
Said, I’m going down to Yasgur’s Farm
Gonna join in a rock and roll band
Got to get back to the land and set my soul free

We are stardust, we are golden
We are billion year old carbon
And we got to get ourselves back to the garden

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Well, then can I roam beside you?
I have come to lose the smog,
And I feel myself a cog in somethin’ turning
And maybe it’s the time of year
Yes and maybe it’s the time of man
And I don’t know who I am
But life is for learning
We are stardust, we are golden
We are billion year old carbon
And we got to get ourselves back to the garden

We are stardust, we are golden
We are billion year old carbon
And we got to get ourselves back to the garden

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By the time we got to Woodstock
We were half a million strong
And everywhere was a song and a celebration
And I dreamed I saw the bomber death planes
Riding shotgun in the sky,
Turning into butterflies
Above our nation
We are stardust, we are golden
We are caught in the devils bargain
And we got to get ourselves back to the garden
  • Written by Joni Mitchell

 

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FEATURED ART BY EDWARD FAIRBURN

Origin of Riding Shotgun

Riding shotgun was used to describe the guard who rode alongside a stagecoach driver, ready to use his shotgun to ward off bandits or hostile Native Americans. In modern use, it refers to the practice of sitting alongside the driver in a moving vehicle.

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Slow is Strong & Stillness Your Superpower

Stillness has power. By being still, you gain the power to think your thoughts more clearly. You gain the power to separate the right thoughts from the wrong ones. And this gives you the power to do the right action, and say the right words.

Be still

Be still your head and allow your senses to become heightened.

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Artwork

Sebastian Ospina

Everything

On Love, Respect and Our Dark Side

There is a wonderful part to each of us – as well as at least 200 pounds of psychic toxic waste burying that wonderful part. It is necessary for us to learn to draw nourishment into the core of all that – into what is wonderful – and slowly cultivate it and allow it to emerge.

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This will happen as we operate in an environment of love and respect. It requires an attitude of service, which in no way depreciates us.

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Rather, it uplifts everybody because we are clear-headed, practical and coming from and understanding of the unity of life.

Excerpt from

Will I Be The Hero of My Own Life?

Swami Chetanandanda

 

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Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth.

-Muhammad Ali

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Featured art work

William Blake (1757-1827)
The Great Red Dragon and the Woman Clothed with the Sun
c. 1803-1805
Watercolor, graphite and incised lines
43.7 x 34.8 cm

. . .
A Truth thats told with bad intent 
Beats all the Lies you can invent 
It is right it should be so 
Man was made for Joy & Woe 
And when this we rightly know 
Thro the World we safely go 
Joy & Woe are woven fine 
A Clothing for the soul divine . . .
William Blake’s true God was the Human Imagination. He did not need to be saved by Christ. Rather, through the salvation of his own imagination, which allowed him to engage in right-thinking and proper actions, he was his own Christ. While Blake was a scholar of the Bible, he was a highly original thinker who created his own mythology and his own human-centered religion.

To Express The Creative Capacity of Our Essence

“If you can see your path laid out in front of you step by step, you know it’s not your path. Your own path you make with every step you take. That’s why it’s your path.  – Joseph Campbell

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Absolute freedom. A life devoted to creative self-expression.

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A life that is fundamentally free is one that is free of certainty.  Purpose, passion, goals. . .they do not matter. The only guarantee of success is that every outcome is uncertain.  Their is no guarantee. Our purpose is not to be found or “discovered”. Our essence is to be expressed or we may fall into arrested expansion.

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To become completely comfortable with uncertainty is total freedom.

To live a life that is full of curiosity, enthusiasm and wonder.

To be free to live open to every situation at one time that we imagined would be difficult or a conflict.

To express the creative capacity of our essence.

This is how our lives become a work of art.

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To live in direct contact with the perpetual, dynamic uncertainty that is implicit in the power of life itself.  To appreciate the mystery of life.

This is equal to living in the heart of intimate freedom.

When we simply are, we are free.

There is no purpose to be found. Just the creative expression of life itself.

As you stroll along, if you’re awake enough, you will be led by your curiosity and excitement.

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Recommended Reading

Will I Be The Hero of My Own Life

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Links

Why Finding Your Passion is Bullshit @ThoughtCatalog

The Bullshit Question Your Ego Loves

Screw Finding Your Passion @markmansonnet

 

Quotes

The granddaddy of the consciousness movementGeorge Leonard was a co-founder of the Aikido of Tamalpais dojo in Corte Madera, California. He also developed the Leonard Energy Training (LET) practice for centering the mind, body, and spirit.

Art

Arrested Expansion by George Grie

Cairo is my muse by Huda Lutfi

Featured Art by Penelope Slinger

Hardwired for Happiness

According to Dr. Joe Dispenza in this lecture, 95% of who we are by the time we are 35 is a memorized set of behaviors, a pattern of emotional reactions, continual unconscious habits, hardwired attitudes, rigid beliefs and perceptions.
We become very predictable people.
If we decide that perhaps we want something better, perhaps change in our lifes, we must start with our thoughts.

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If you agree and believe that the way you think has some effect on you life, than changing the way you think is the only real solution for transformation.

In order to become better versions of who we are for a better life, we must change our personalities.

Terri Duan

How Our Personalities Are Formed

We have around 60,000 to 70,000 thoughts per day. That’s an average of 2500 – 3,300 thoughts per hour. Out of those 60-70 thousand thoughts that you think, 90% of those thoughts are the same thoughts as the day before.

If you believe (like I do) that your thoughts are some how connected to your life, then the same thoughts always lead to the same choices, which eventually lead to the same outcomes.

Thoughts for Change

Since the same choices always lead to the same behaviors, the same behaviors create the same experiences.

The same experiences produce the same emotions.

Those very same emotions drive those very same thoughts.

A vicious circle and a predictable life.

Your thoughts, fueled by emotions effect your entire life, including your biology, your neurocircuitry, your neurochemistry, your neurohormones, and even your genetic expression. It is all equal to how you think, how you act and how you feel.

How you think, how you act and how you feel is called your personality and your personality creates your personal reality.

Art by Robert Jahns

 

How to Be More Like You

E. E. Cummings wrote, “The greatest battle we face as human beings is the battle to protect our true selves from the self the world wants us to become.

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People just put facades out there. They even admit that one facade is a little more real than the other. You go to work and get lost in your professional facade, but then you say. “I’m going home to be with my family and friends where I can just be myself.” So your work facade drops into the background, and your relaxed social facade comes forward. But what about you, the one who is holding the facade together? Nobody gets near that one. That’s just too scary. That one is too far back there to deal with. 

from The Untethered Soul The Journey Beyond Yourself by Michael A. Singer.

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Oh, the armor we put on every morning becomes heavier to bear, year-after-year.  Tara Brach calls it our “spacesuit strategy“, we slip it on every day as we head out into the world to attract attention, admiration, and appreciation. No wonder why we are so mentally exhausted, always trying to be something we are not for temporary shots of counterfeit recognition.

Emotional Masks

These emotional masks, the masks we hide behind because of fear. For example, if we are insecure, we might hide behind the mask of name-dropping. If we are unsure of our power, we can hide behind mask of being a bully. If we don’t think the world loves us, we can hide behind mask of anger. We mask the debt we’ve incurred to pay for lifestyles we can’t afford; we pretend things are fine at work, when our jobs are on the line; we pretend things are okay in our marriages when there is distance. 

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It starts with just noticing when you are not being you. When you are saying things and doing things just to get attention or acknowledgment. Just think about how nice you are to people when they behave in accordance with your expectations.

Artwork by Dimitra Milan